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mayjah

  1. Some days you're the wave. Some days you're the shore. Some days you're the person using an ocean metaphor.about 18 hours ago from web
  2. It puts the tonic in the gin or else I sing Desert Rose again. Too late. ♬ I dream of rain, yele e yele. ♬10:38 PM Nov 9th from web
  3. @idvssuperego Happy birthday! I I got you a puppet, a jaunty cricket, a kitten, a goldfish, and an Italian. Don't eat them all at once.5:58 PM Nov 9th from web in reply to idvssuperego
  4. Wasting a domain like daddytypes.com on a new-dads blog is like blotting the tears you cry during Andy Griffith with $100 bills.12:35 PM Nov 9th from web
  5. @thedayhascome Hugs for Lucy. And just think, you can probably double your bacon intake if it's liquefied. Mmmmm, bacon slurry.9:09 AM Nov 9th from web in reply to thedayhascome
  6. Visiting @RawShopper. He thinks I'm going to come back wanting to go raw. Me. Go raw. LOL. Wait, that isn't canned laughter, is it?5:14 PM Nov 8th from web
  7. This scientology commercial is so confusing. What do red lollipops and feathers and football have to do wi- oh wait, I get it.5:43 PM Nov 6th from txt
  8. Oh, you know, just working on my great American autoerotic asphyxia novel, The Great Gaspy. WHAT.11:49 AM Nov 6th from txt
  9. This guy looks like a clinically-depressed Danny Bonaduce. I have dubbed him Despondeduce.5:25 PM Nov 5th from txt
  10. Doctor, My Eyes was playing and I actually listened to the lyrics for the first time. It's totally not about David Gest.11:19 AM Nov 5th from web
  11. Whoever coined the phrase In It To Win It must have known how deep into this Dreyer's carton I'd be. I'm about to take the fudge ribbon.8:08 PM Nov 4th from web
  12. Hope you're happy, Maine. Bert is crying into his paperclip collection, soon to be rusty and worthless. Ernie? Escapist bubble bath.1:12 PM Nov 4th from web
  13. If Elmo is your Sesame Street totem, you're probably popular, but many many people want to stab you in the face.11:00 AM Nov 4th from web
  14. @idvssuperego You're more like The Count. Not because you suck, come back! Mystery, evil laughter, organ-obsessed. Oh and bats.9:42 AM Nov 4th from web in reply to idvssuperego
  15. My Sesame Street muppet totem is Big Bird. Feathers, milkshakes, and a deep, abiding love for Snuffy's trunk.8:52 AM Nov 4th from web
  16. Seriously, I feel like a Smart car surrounded by double-decker buses. A Smart car desperately trying to resist a headlights reference.5:57 PM Nov 3rd from txt
  17. It's apparently bring your giant teetering rack to the gym day. Just a heads up.5:34 PM Nov 3rd from txt
  18. I'd make a NanuWriMu Mork & Mindy joke but '70s cultural references are so 2004.10:23 AM Nov 3rd from web
  19. The free-floating anxiety is still there, but I'm starting to get a handle on it. Gin, mostly.7:49 AM Nov 3rd from web
  20. Is that big sports thing with the paunchy guys and the bats over yet? No? OK, woah, hey, you don't have to yell.5:38 PM Nov 2nd from web