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mayafish

  1. I maintain that there is nothing - NOTHING - worse than a port-a-potty. Related: PLEASE SEND HELP. about 15 hours ago from Tweetie
  2. It's only 10:30, only half my internet friends are here, and I already poured my whole drink all over myself. So... Woo I guess! 7:42 PM Nov 14th from Tweetie
  3. Octopus umbrella. Giraffe noise! No, YOU had too much caffeine. Grxyz. 10:14 AM Nov 14th from Tweetie
  4. @girlvanized Yes but they have flying cars. Who needs a cell phone when you have A FLYING CAR?? 10:02 AM Nov 14th from Tweetie in reply to girlvanized
  5. If you want, you can #followfriday my zombie alter ego @forzombies, but her advice will really only apply to you if you eat brains now. 6:50 AM Nov 13th from Tweetie
  6. LIFE IS LIKE A HURRICANE HERE IN DUCKBURG! RACECARS LASERS AEROPLANES IT'S A DUCK BLUR! Good morning! You're welcome. 6:37 AM Nov 13th from Tweetie
  7. In honor of @zolora's birthday, I'm officially declaring today National Build A Fort And Read A Book In It day. You know what to do. 6:20 AM Nov 13th from Tweetie
  8. Remember when actresses acted, singers sang, & I only had to watch annoying popstars on SNL for 5 minutes? Also, remember when SNL was good? 7:36 PM Nov 12th from Tweetie
  9. A large baked potato only has 300 calories, which is why I feel comfortable smothering it in an entire stick of butter. 3:53 PM Nov 12th from Tweetie
  10. Stick a fork in me, I'm squirrelly. 3:39 PM Nov 12th from Tweetie
  11. TWO people called me fat yesterday, so I'm spending my day off eating as much as possible. Hah! Now who's fat, jerks? Oh. Right. Well then. 1:15 PM Nov 12th from Tweetie
  12. The real problem with second-hand smoke is the dry cleaning bills. 7:16 AM Nov 12th from Tweetie
  13. When Attila the Hun died, all the guys who buried him were murdered afterwards. I guess what I'm saying is, write that down for my funeral. 9:06 AM Nov 11th from Tweetie
  14. Playing with Esquire's new augmented reality issue. I LOVE THE FUTURE. 7:08 PM Nov 10th from Tweetie
  15. Almost forgot why RBNS is my favorite blog. Then I read this, & now I forget why I like ANYTHING ELSE: http://tinyurl.com/y9o4kqx 6:24 PM Nov 10th from Tweetie
  16. @essdogg I can't get no... Hey hey hey! 4:16 PM Nov 10th from Tweetie in reply to essdogg
  17. I was too drunk to tweet last night, but I really wanted to tell you that I met an @essdogg and I liked it. 6:53 AM Nov 10th from Tweetie
  18. @Yayaa You also look like an angel. Can I call you THAT? Also, sailor bait. 6:52 AM Nov 10th from Tweetie in reply to Yayaa
  19. I like the Internet because you don't even need to pretend what you're saying is true, let alone verifiable. 10:44 AM Nov 9th from Tweetie
  20. The only reason Elvis didn't write a song about peanut butter and banana sandwiches is because he died. 10:43 AM Nov 9th from Tweetie