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matthewrender

  1. I don't get Google Wave is the new Trying to figure this Twitter thing out. about 10 hours ago from API
  2. Makeup for horses?!? Now I've seen everyth- oh, wait. That's Sarah Jessica Parker. Nevermind. 12:25 PM Nov 29th from Birdhouse
  3. I assumed Tiger Woods was rich enough that he wouldn't have to race out to #BlackFriday deals and crash his car at 2AM. Guess not. 12:13 PM Nov 27th from web
  4. RT @cravenheart: Brief bit of excitement at home tonight when we located the dropped Viagra pill. And 4 hours of excitement when the cat ... 3:07 AM Nov 21st from web
  5. OMG!! The Mayans were right! The Oprah show WILL end in 2012!!!! 5:25 AM Nov 20th from Tweetie
  6. Just finished "Rogue Assassin" on XBox. I'm pretty disappointed that the final boss wasn't Sarah Palin. 3:37 PM Nov 18th from Tweetie
  7. Some days, you have to deal with people that make you think, "I can kinda see how Al Qaeda thinks we should all be exterminated." 6:43 PM Nov 17th from Tweetie
  8. My plan to bring peace on earth this holiday season starts with getting Trans-Siberian Orchestra put on the terrorist watch list. 1:31 PM Nov 16th from web
  9. Breaking News: Thousands of illegal immigrants apply for Lou Dobbs' job. Qualifications: having a 6th grade education, and a head. 7:40 AM Nov 12th from TweetDeck
  10. RT @shitmydadsays "They can grow rabbit penises?!? Next thing you know, they'll be giving TV deals to random douchebags!" 9:28 PM Nov 9th from Tweetie
  11. OH: I'm going to the Tenderloin. Want me to pick up anything for you? I mean, like food. Not a hooker. That would be weird. 5:00 PM Nov 9th from API
  12. Out of candy. Is it too early to go trick or treating again? 8:19 PM Nov 7th from API
  13. I wish I had kids. Then I could have sent them out for more Halloween candy. 8:20 PM Nov 5th from API
  14. I like my women like I like my Halloween candy- sweet, free, and easy to get if you dress up and ask nicely. 4:21 PM Oct 31st from API
  15. My avatar's Halloween costume is Dick Cheney. Yep, still just one big cock. 12:14 PM Oct 31st from Tweetie
  16. Yeah, I'll be right over. I'll just hop on the Golden Gate and... what? Oh fuck. 8:48 PM Oct 28th from API
  17. Me? Oh, just playing a table game of soccer with players on sticks. As Foosually. 9:44 PM Oct 17th from API
  18. Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop building arks. 8:31 AM Oct 13th from TweetDeck
  19. Happy Coming Out Day!!! 1:50 PM Oct 11th from Tweetie
  20. RT @MsHiss: Who are you and why do you keep re-tweeting everything I say? I want so send you money- what's you PayPal? 10:43 AM Oct 10th from Tweetie