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matthewbaldwin

  1. Wow, this is the worst break-from-Twitter ever. OKAY STARTING NOW 3:05 PM Nov 18th from web
  2. Headline News: JUSTICE DEPARTMENT RECONSIDERS CIVILIAN TRIALS FOR TERROR SUSPECTS AFTER MATLOCK JOINS DEFENSE 2:44 PM Nov 18th from web
  3. @Prolixian My host effed up the I.S. database. It's since been fixed. 9:34 AM Nov 16th from web in reply to Prolixian
  4. I am taking a break from Twitter and going to try this newfangled "macro-blogging" for a spell. http://www.defectiveyeti.com 9:27 AM Nov 16th from web
  5. I am rewatching Flight of the Conchords season 1. I'd totally forgotten about the @hodgman cameo. 2:44 PM Nov 10th from web
  6. Gays are winning, Tim Eyman is losing, the sun is shining. Nice work, Seattle. 11:45 AM Nov 4th from web
  7. @kevinshay @kevinguilfoile: Haha, I heard that line too and had the same thought, pretty much verbatim. 8:55 AM Nov 4th from web
  8. If I could extend everything as long as I can extend a deadline I would be a popular dude. 8:37 AM Nov 4th from web
  9. How my cat manages to vomit every ounce of food he ingests onto my carpet and yet remain obese is the greatest mystery of our time. 6:34 PM Nov 2nd from web
  10. Oh you know, just sitting around in my underwear and eating fun-sized Almond Joy bars while listening to "The Best of INXS Disc 2". You? 6:19 PM Nov 2nd from web
  11. I am going as a guy who obviously didn't start on his costume until 4:45 this afternoon, again. 3:32 PM Oct 31st from web
  12. @brittneyg You look soporific! 3:31 PM Oct 31st from web in reply to brittneyg
  13. I wish your Miranda rights allowed you to wear an enormous fruit hat during your booking photo. 3:01 PM Oct 23rd from web
  14. Today I went to both the dentist and the auto shop. Mouth cost 6x more to fix and doesn't even have air conditioning. 3:42 PM Oct 22nd from web
  15. @crispycracka Gouda / Buddha. That one's for free. 12:47 PM Oct 22nd from web in reply to crispycracka
  16. I need to embrace a subculture in which my ridiculous hair is the norm (e.g. hipsterism or hoboism). 11:40 AM Oct 22nd from web
  17. Car won't start. Fortunately it's the starter and not the battery, so you can still listen to the radio while sitting there sobbing. 9:16 AM Oct 22nd from web
  18. If you work hard your entire life you can achieve your dreams by retirement. Specifically, the dreams where your teeth fall out. 9:20 AM Oct 21st from web
  19. Help me decide my Halloween costume! I am torn between "Sexy Bottle of 2-in-1 Shampoo and Conditioner" or "Sexy Textiles Industry". 6:43 PM Oct 20th from web
  20. I currently have 13-bean soup simmering in the crockpot. Thirteen distinct beans! It is the culinary equivalent of the Mach 5 razor. 2:43 PM Oct 19th from web