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martenreed

  1. @dorabianchi if she goes to sleep now she is going to have hella insane king of all cosmos dreams
  2. @dorabianchi marmar?
  3. @pintsize0101 she routinely acts in a brazen manner, unconcerned with potential failure, rejection, or danger
  4. @dorabianchi you so dirty i'm fuckin' your elbow and you're totally into it
  5. @dorabianchi you such a ho I'm grabbin' your ass right now and you haven't even noticed
  6. @fayewhitaker you such a hipster that when YOU meet Lou Reed he all "choke on my cock" and you ALREADY DID and he forgot cause he's old now
  7. @fayewhitaker yeah well you so PROLIX it takes you THREE TWEETS just to make one LAME BURN aw yeah vocabulary burns up in here
  8. OH BURN RT @hanneloreEC "@fayewhitaker you're such a jerk that when people talk to you they're all 'dang, please be a little more polite'"
  9. @hanneloreEC aw we're just joshin' around Hanners don't get stressed out
  10. @fayewhitaker I really liked your costume, you make a great "textbook example of the modern twentysomething failure" (ps you smell)
  11. @fayewhitaker could you put them all in a trashbag for me?
  12. Hey @marigoldfarmer you busy? I think Pintsize is gonna need some chassis work again.
  13. @dorabianchi wait, hang on. check out @pintsize0101's latest tweet
  14. @fayewhitaker no! no! I have a rule against this!
  15. @fayewhitaker what
  16. @dorabianchi oh my god yes "here lies Nergal, a Free Elf" (died from bellowing himself inside out)
  17. @fayewhitaker Jamie Stewart has a fling with Neville, messy breakup fuels epic Xiu Xiu double-album
  18. @fayewhitaker Hagrid is made fifth member of Animal Collective, samples sound of hippogriff mating for their new song "bilbofuck"
  19. Voldemort played by Ryan Schreiber from Pitchfork, Buddyhead posts his cell #, millions of internet trolls killed by answering-machine curse
  20. @penelopegaines @fayewhitaker James Murphy from DFA/LCD Soundsystem becomes new Professor of Potions