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malisams

  1. Stood in the hallway laughing at this for far too long...which is worrisome, even for me. http://yfrog.com/0t7t6nj
  2. I may or may not have just purchased a magnet of a cute painted bird with the saying "You're a whore and that makes me sad" on it. (I did.)
  3. HOLY WANT, BATMAN: http://bit.ly/3LIaDu
  4. Wind. Rain. Patsy Cline. Jammies at noon. Fresh bacon and coffee. Sure do love me a stormy Saturday at home...
  5. @jarvitron We're totally operating in parallel universes. I was *just* looking at pictures of that kid. Um...research. Yeah. For...a class.
  6. My insides are making strange noises. I have a client meeting in 15 minutes. In a very small conference room. Dammit.
  7. Wanton sluttery and bright fuchsia lipstick. Must be Friday.
  8. What I learned today from @FakeAPStylebook: A queue is a short line of people or objects. A queueueueue is a really long line. #followfriday
  9. Like Jesus, the Virgin Mary, and Elvis before him, Glenn Beck's eerie likeness found in nature: http://tinyurl.com/yhchdau
  10. McFaddens FTW: gluten-free beer. http://yfrog.com/j4qz6j
  11. @mbloomstein Ha! He was actually posing as a delivery man working for a meat co. Took "order" to another floor, brought "surplus" up here.
  12. @mbloomstein Well, he was a scammer, so he SEEMED legit. Uniform, paperwork, company history, hand cart, etc. But...yeah. Discernment FAIL.
  13. Just found out the traveling meat salesman I bought from last month was wanted in 7 states and just arrested. Commence the "hot meat" jokes.
  14. "Don't be afraid to say excuse me!" he said with a condescending smile. Hey thanks, guy, for the unnecessary feminist affirmation. Now move.
  15. On a scale of one to ten, these cramps are EDWARD SCISSORHANDS DOING TAI CHI IN MY UTERUS.
  16. This just made my day (via @uselink126): Supernatural Collective Nouns. http://bit.ly/2gBPnC
  17. Guess what? BEER.
  18. Just drooled M&M saliva all over my keyboard. Then instead of letting it go unnoticed, I told everyone within earshot. Why do I hate myself?
  19. RT @nytimesdining Processed Foods and Depression http://bit.ly/alUTO
  20. @pcraig OMG NOW