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majah

  1. ♫ If you laughed then you should put a ★ on it. WOAH OH OH ♫ 4:11 PM Dec 11th from web
  2. Mom (on the phone): What is that noise? Me: I'm eating. Mom: Oh, are you upset about something? 10:31 AM Dec 9th from web
  3. @dmoren Why do you think they call it MagSAFE? You're covered. Just don't let her use your optical drive. 9:10 AM Dec 8th from web in reply to dmoren
  4. @dmoren Next time you see one scream "YETI!" and then clobber her head with the nearest blunt object. I've already taken down 6 this winter. 2:01 PM Dec 7th from web in reply to dmoren
  5. Christmas shopping with @jessieshmessie. So far I have purchased shoes, for myself. I suck at this. 5:41 PM Dec 5th from Tweetie
  6. Dear iPhoto, If you had legs I would kick you in the shins. Love, Maja 12:34 AM Dec 3rd from Tweetie
  7. The SF hipsters prepare for a long winter, by pulling their American Apparel hoodies tighter as they light up another American Spirit. 10:09 AM Dec 2nd from web
  8. "Why is this song in your iTunes?" "Do you listen to @ylnt?" "What?" "Nevermind." 4:13 PM Nov 26th from web
  9. You know what makes sense? Lamps. 2:20 AM Nov 25th from Tweetie
  10. Ladies and gentlemen, I just de-gibleted my first turkey, and may I just say, HOLYFUCKINGEWWWWWWWWWWWW. 6:28 PM Nov 24th from web
  11. @cbowns HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLOWNS!!! 10:48 AM Nov 24th from web
  12. Mom: Did you get the cookbook I sent? Me: Yeah. Mom: So, what are you making for dinner? Me: Uh, coke and chocolate? Mom: (silence) *click* 6:32 PM Nov 23rd from Tweetie
  13. Scatergories. Letter: I. Category: Animal. Sister: "Emu!" Glad to see that $200k private education didn't go to waste. 11:26 AM Nov 22nd from Birdhouse
  14. It's not even 9am and I've already shattered 3 glasses and accidentally lit something on fire. 8:55 AM Nov 22nd from Tweetie
  15. Mom had to switch from mac to PC at work. "I don't know if I'm running Vista or Windows 7. It doesn't even matter, they both suck anyway." 10:39 AM Nov 21st from Tweetie
  16. Why aren't there strip clubs in airports? Thousands of bored dudes with nothing to do and nowhere to go. AMMIRITE? Fellas? 8:32 PM Nov 20th from Tweetie
  17. Unfortunately when I'm drunk I can still remember my credit card number. Unrelated: does anyone want a life sized Kathy Giffith jello mold? 3:27 PM Nov 17th from web
  18. Pictures from @jessieshmessie & @davidcairns's birthday party hosted at @wilshipley's house are up! http://bit.ly/3xPkub 4:27 PM Nov 16th from web
  19. Oh, not much, just hand painting a 12' map of San Francisco. You? 2:10 PM Nov 12th from web
  20. Rushed to a meeting that was canceled, spilled coffee on shirt, ate something found in purse for lunch. I am in full Cathy mode today. ACK! 1:37 PM Nov 9th from web