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lumpyheadsmom

  1. @sweatpantsmom $15 per hour, but my kids are little. I hope to pay less when my children are older. 7:31 AM Dec 1st from web in reply to sweatpantsmom
  2. @MeaganFrancis Busier than a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest. 12:03 PM Nov 30th from web in reply to MeaganFrancis
  3. Hey kid. Yeah, you with the drum. It was just gas. #ruiningchristmascarols 5:43 PM Nov 27th from web
  4. @CroutonBoy You've been banned in Chicago, haven't you. 5:57 PM Nov 26th from web in reply to CroutonBoy
  5. @molchase Gah. So sorry. 8:46 AM Nov 24th from web in reply to molchase
  6. @Sundry Maybe he was talking about your ass. 8:38 PM Nov 20th from web in reply to Sundry
  7. @mammaloves Yes. Definitely. 8:38 PM Nov 20th from web in reply to mammaloves
  8. Met old friend for beer. Attended fun party with fabulous women. Mooched ride home from @mammaloves. Was a good night. No, a great night. 8:29 PM Nov 20th from web
  9. @GoonSquadSarah Never mind. I talked to my anus and it has no trouble doing its job while being hidden. In fact, it prefers that. 12:09 PM Nov 20th from web in reply to GoonSquadSarah
  10. @GoonSquadSarah I have no idea if that worked or not. I RT'ed you, just to be an asshole, but it's hard to be an asshole if no one sees you. 12:08 PM Nov 20th from web in reply to GoonSquadSarah
  11. RT @GoonSquadSarah: The new retweets freak me out. I want to see the picture of the person who re-tweeted the thing, otherwise it looks ... 12:05 PM Nov 20th from web
  12. @lauriewrites Did I ever tell you? My friend Tom lost his violin on the NY subway. http://tinyurl.com/yz3xbxb & http://tinyurl.com/yh428wc 11:11 AM Nov 20th from web in reply to lauriewrites
  13. Jesus, Twitter. @anissamayhew in a coma. @thienkim in labor. @delora can't have a doula. I have fucking work to do but am SO distracted. 8:17 AM Nov 20th from web
  14. Smallish garage. Should we squeeze a 2nd car in & store nearly nothing? Or park only 1 car in there & store a shitload of crap, comfortably? 9:36 AM Nov 19th from web
  15. @BackpackingDad I bet you use "penultimate" correctly, though. And refer to a pitch's "speed" and not its "velocity." 9:27 AM Nov 19th from web in reply to BackpackingDad
  16. HA-ha! Here's a side of jealousy to go with your lunch. @delora came to my house last night and she didn't come to yours. HA-ha. 8:57 AM Nov 18th from web
  17. @molchase Take some ibuprofen before you get it installed. 12:52 PM Nov 17th from web in reply to molchase
  18. @GoonSquadSarah @delora Jealous. Already. 6:23 AM Nov 15th from web in reply to GoonSquadSarah
  19. Got email from newly elected HOA board member, thanking me for my vote of confidence in her. You're welcome. Also? You were unopposed. 2:26 PM Nov 5th from web
  20. @whymommy OMG, YES. They're still here, and some of them have bullhorns. I really hate bullhorns. 12:06 PM Nov 5th from web in reply to whymommy