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lucasshanks

  1. Wow, being in NYC for so long has really been detrimental to my Tweeting while driving in a snow storm skills. about 1 hour ago from TweetDeck
  2. Might have to take a taxi church. Pregaming too hard with the blood of Christ. about 22 hours ago from TweetDeck
  3. Jesus hates your generic, thoughtless holiday Tweets, status updates and mass text messages. 12:05 PM Dec 24th from TweetDeck
  4. @berstreet The Zoo is in my backyard. If I remember correctly, 612-222-2222 should do the trick, but can I suggest something at the IMAX? 6:44 PM Dec 23rd from TweetDeck
  5. Anyone back in Apple Valley? Come over to drink my parents beer and hang out with me and a special guest (hint: it's Dylan Brown). 5:47 PM Dec 23rd from TweetDeck
  6. Airlines are so inconsistent. My holiday plans of getting delayed and taking a connecting flight to Miami are totally fucked. 4:51 AM Dec 23rd from TweetDeck
  7. Couldn't fit my family's gifts in my carry-on, really banking on this health care reform passing before Friday so I can re-gift it. 4:24 AM Dec 23rd from TweetDeck
  8. Sounds like an idea for 2010. RT @RGA Someone is going to spontaneously combust from the pressure of making the ultimate agency holiday card 12:24 PM Dec 22nd from web
  9. RT @billmaher There's no such thing as death by natural causes at 32, America can't fix healthcare bc it doesn't know what health is anymore 8:03 PM Dec 21st from TweetDeck
  10. John Wall is one summer of pro bono circumcisions away from getting Tim Tebow-esque fellatio from the ESPN college basketball crew. 4:43 PM Dec 21st from web
  11. Just woke up from a nightmare where my flight home for the holidays got canceled and I ended up having to work this week. Wait... shit. 8:39 PM Dec 20th from web
  12. @aliciahouselog Yeah, but there's a good chance if you're vacationing at the Jersey Shore you already have one. 7:49 PM Dec 20th from web in reply to aliciahouselog
  13. The Zales Ed Hardy inspired watch is a great way to say 'I love you.' Especially if you're competing for your loved one on VH1. 6:04 PM Dec 20th from web
  14. Is Favre wearing ice skates? Not because he's slipping, but because he actually looks like he's running on grass in ice skates. 5:49 PM Dec 20th from web
  15. @MLZanatta It's probably because the Seahawks and Buccaneers have so much fantasy impact. 1:58 PM Dec 20th from web in reply to MLZanatta
  16. The NFL RedZone channel isn't as much a 'red zone' channel as it is a 'shitty team you're already watching on CBS at midfield' channel. 11:52 AM Dec 20th from web
  17. @chriskantos My flight was canceled almost a full day ahead of time, try to sign up for alerts or something. 4:57 PM Dec 19th from TweetDeck
  18. @jordanrubin Whoa, simultaneous AIDS tweets. I sure hope that's not how the virus materializes. 3:19 PM Dec 19th from web in reply to jordanrubin
  19. Attention dipshits in NYC: the 1/4" of white stuff falling from the sky is snow. Not AIDS. Stop acting like maniacal pussies. 3:03 PM Dec 19th from web
  20. Flight canceled, stuck in my Manhattan apartment. I should probably get some rope, paint buckets, kerosene and bricks before it gets dark. 11:58 AM Dec 19th from web