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lovemytattoos

  1. @kathygriffin just finished your book and it was awesome! sorry you won't get any royalties though I got it from the library. 8:07 PM Dec 17th from web
  2. RT @TFLN: (713): I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke. 8:58 PM Dec 8th from web
  3. RT @pennjillette: Joke we didn't use tonight: " Obama is meeting with Al Gore this week, the topic of discussion -- 'I can't believe th ... 8:56 PM Dec 8th from web
  4. RT @shitmydadsays: "It's never the right time to have kids, but it's always the right time for screwing. God's not a dumbshit. He knows ... 7:31 PM Dec 1st from web
  5. i so wanna say it... but i so don't. this is why i never played sports, i cannot pass the ball!! 7:29 PM Dec 1st from web
  6. RT @MrTeller: Today a female nurse-practitioner urologist closed her eyes, felt my testicles, and gave me good news. It was like having ... 3:15 PM Nov 26th from web
  7. Radio Shack guy threatened to call the cops on me. I told him he may as well call an ambulance while he's at it. Dick. 5:06 PM Nov 25th from web
  8. I feel like wearing makeup and girlie clothes. Must be dickmitized. 7:09 PM Nov 12th from web
  9. Wondering what I did right? I just tripped and fell into an amazing man :) 9:05 AM Nov 10th from web
  10. I have gallstones now. What else? Ugh 9:35 AM Nov 5th from web
  11. #askmartha is there a way to thicken a thin sauce without gooey cornstarch or that raw flour flavor? 8:02 PM Nov 3rd from web
  12. @Pink must be nice 6:16 PM Oct 22nd from web in reply to Pink
  13. Yay! found a job rubbing ppl down before the chiropractor gets to them. No happy endings! 4:12 PM Oct 4th from web
  14. There is a certain demographic out there rumored to have no rhythm. Its kinda true. 8:23 AM Oct 2nd from web
  15. http://bit.ly/T8YRl oh yeah. another 10 years of nightmares for me :) Freddies Back! 8:15 PM Sep 28th from web
  16. Well, the only thing I have to worry about my new roomate is if he wakes up dead. I can handle that. Least he won't bitch. 9:01 AM Sep 27th from web
  17. Mmmmm beer. Nuff said. 5:10 PM Sep 26th from web
  18. What has happened to men? Every guy my age or close to it seems to have been born with a vagina. If I wanted to date a bitch I would. 5:39 PM Sep 24th from web
  19. feeling very blah. don't want to do anything, but i want to do everything i can't. quite the conundrum. 5:55 PM Sep 22nd from web
  20. Is writing a romatic comedy about brain injuries wrong? 11:19 PM Sep 19th from web