lovemytattoos
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@ just finished your book and it was awesome! sorry you won't get any royalties though I got it from the library.
8:07 PM Dec 17th
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RT @: (713): I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
8:58 PM Dec 8th
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RT @: Joke we didn't use tonight: " Obama is meeting with Al Gore this week, the topic of discussion -- 'I can't believe th
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8:56 PM Dec 8th
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RT @: "It's never the right time to have kids, but it's always the right time for screwing. God's not a dumbshit. He knows
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7:31 PM Dec 1st
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i so wanna say it... but i so don't. this is why i never played sports, i cannot pass the ball!!
7:29 PM Dec 1st
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RT @: Today a female nurse-practitioner urologist closed her eyes, felt my testicles, and gave me good news. It was like having
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3:15 PM Nov 26th
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Radio Shack guy threatened to call the cops on me. I told him he may as well call an ambulance while he's at it. Dick.
5:06 PM Nov 25th
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I feel like wearing makeup and girlie clothes. Must be dickmitized.
7:09 PM Nov 12th
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Wondering what I did right? I just tripped and fell into an amazing man :)
9:05 AM Nov 10th
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I have gallstones now. What else? Ugh
9:35 AM Nov 5th
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is there a way to thicken a thin sauce without gooey cornstarch or that raw flour flavor?
8:02 PM Nov 3rd
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@ must be nice
6:16 PM Oct 22nd
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in reply to Pink
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Yay! found a job rubbing ppl down before the chiropractor gets to them. No happy endings!
4:12 PM Oct 4th
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There is a certain demographic out there rumored to have no rhythm. Its kinda true.
8:23 AM Oct 2nd
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oh yeah. another 10 years of nightmares for me :) Freddies Back!
8:15 PM Sep 28th
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Well, the only thing I have to worry about my new roomate is if he wakes up dead. I can handle that. Least he won't bitch.
9:01 AM Sep 27th
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Mmmmm beer. Nuff said.
5:10 PM Sep 26th
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What has happened to men? Every guy my age or close to it seems to have been born with a vagina. If I wanted to date a bitch I would.
5:39 PM Sep 24th
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feeling very blah. don't want to do anything, but i want to do everything i can't. quite the conundrum.
5:55 PM Sep 22nd
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Is writing a romatic comedy about brain injuries wrong?
11:19 PM Sep 19th
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