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lisarahmat

  1. "If I could control the space-time continuum, I'd be with you." sounds really sweet until you realise he's too cheap to buy an air ticket. about 2 hours ago from Birdhouse
  2. I get a virus on my computer the same day Obama is in town. Coincidence? I thinkSECURITY THREAT FOUND 6:07 PM Nov 14th from Birdhouse
  3. I seem to have gained weight despite watching what I eat. Anyway, let me review this tape from Burger King again. 4:36 PM Nov 12th from Birdhouse
  4. Obama's coming to Singapore! This makes me weak in the knees. Well, just the one I've been on, preparing for my proposal. 5:08 PM Nov 11th from Birdhouse
  5. It's hard to complain about your boss micromanaging you when he's a midget. 6:03 PM Nov 10th from Birdhouse
  6. If I owned a network, I'd give @badbanana a TV show and call it Stuff My Daddy Says. If you know what I mean. 10:15 PM Nov 9th from web
  7. The train station announcement said to call the police if we spot any suspiscious person or article so I reported myself. 5:10 PM Nov 9th from Birdhouse
  8. @joeschmitt Woohoo! This is better than being on The Price Is Right! 4:25 PM Nov 9th from Tweetie in reply to joeschmitt
  9. It's as if Americans have forgotten that today is 9/11. 6:52 AM Nov 9th from Birdhouse
  10. "I had a flashforward that I'd be late to work on Monday morning and it came true!" "..." "Yup, that's how you reacted in my vision, Boss." 5:08 PM Nov 8th from Birdhouse
  11. The need to pee You should heed urgently If not, quite suddenly Trickle, trickle down your knee. 5:44 PM Nov 7th from Birdhouse
  12. My momma always said, "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know if it's halal." 4:47 PM Nov 5th from Birdhouse
  13. Hey! Look at me! I'm American and watching the World Series and eating a hot dog! 8:16 PM Nov 4th from Birdhouse
  14. I don't know if missing my work bus-stop was real or a dream but anyway, I'm safe home now. 4:44 PM Nov 4th from Birdhouse
  15. What time is it in the US now? Oh wait. Even they don't know. 4:35 PM Nov 2nd from Birdhouse
  16. "I'm a doctor who recently won a Nobel prize." In trying to chat up that cute guy, I made a fraudian slip. 4:34 PM Nov 1st from Birdhouse
  17. That mean lady refused to give candy to my kid who was dressed up as Invisible Girl. :-( 6:15 PM Oct 31st from Birdhouse
  18. You were born on Halloween, @davegorum? You know what that means, right? Your costume has to be your birthday suit. 6:21 AM Oct 31st from web
  19. Two Jedi walk into Ackbar. 4:54 PM Oct 30th from Birdhouse
  20. Ahh, baseball. Just another reminder of US unilateralism. 6:57 PM Oct 29th from Birdhouse