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lightsleeper

  1. This McDonald's receipt reports that my daughter got a "Doll Toy." Boys, one supposes, receive a "Gun Toy." about 16 hours ago from Tweetie
  2. Thank you for your submission of cynically awful ambient holiday pop. Unfortunately, we are not yet accepting for the 2009-2010 season. 8:08 AM Nov 23rd from Tweetie
  3. Parallels Desktop has successfully ported the "reboot many times each day" feature of Windows onto my Mac. Yay, virtualization! 8:50 AM Nov 22nd from Tweetie
  4. Not the wine talking when I earnestly ask: why aren't you watching "Adventureland" *right now?* Also, I'm poking your sternum emphatically. 8:49 PM Nov 21st from web
  5. Woman in fur coat, giant handbag, Paris Hilton sunglasses pedaling bike down Lincoln. Hi, DUI Lady! 9:44 AM Nov 20th from Tweetie
  6. Stop putting the phrase "Full Screen" on your useless 4:3 DVDs, media jackasses. I declare your stuff to be "keyholed" and will not buy it. 5:03 PM Nov 18th from web
  7. If the internet is a series of tubes, then Indianapolis's tube is one of those little red coffee stirrers. That has been chewed on. 1:25 AM Nov 18th from web
  8. RT @FakeAPStylebook: Use "faith-based," as "nuts" or "probably dangerous" may be seen as disrespectful. 6:26 PM Nov 17th from web
  9. "The point is mute"? Um, were you home-schooled using "Saved by the Bell" reruns as curriculum? 10:15 AM Nov 13th from web
  10. Hey, Maslow: I don't see "Free Wi Fi" on your little list here. Revise and resubmit. 6:56 AM Nov 13th from Tweetie
  11. Being grown up means glumly realizing that you are highly proficient at things you never even wanted to do. 12:08 PM Nov 11th from Tweetie
  12. Best unused rap name: "Obsequious D" 4:22 AM Nov 11th from Tweetie
  13. I just read a USA Today. I think it may have actually pulled information OUT of my brain. 4:04 AM Nov 11th from Tweetie
  14. Can't tell if what's poking out of my hotel tissue dispenser is a festive "paper rose" or merely evidence of frugal housekeeping staff. 5:05 PM Nov 10th from web
  15. @hodgman is appearing in Chicago, so of course I'm in Indianapolis. Also: Indianapolis, your "broadband" is hilariously slow. 4:56 PM Nov 10th from web
  16. When the economy is bad, you get to find out about all the people who used to have your current phone number. #downturn-upsides 10:53 AM Nov 10th from Tweetie
  17. Although—to be fair—I suppose driving around in a pickup truck isn't any stranger than pushing an empty wheelbarrow everywhere you go. 3:42 PM Nov 4th from Tweetie
  18. The pickup truck as primary vehicle? In Indianapolis, Indiana, that's still a thing. 3:38 PM Nov 4th from Tweetie
  19. Overly-Perky Morning Newsreader: I'm guessing your boyfriend is still with you ONLY because you're gone every morning when he wakes up. 4:48 AM Nov 3rd from Tweetie
  20. Urban myth says suicide rates up during holidays. I'm guessing they actually mean during "The Early Show" on CBS. #hotellobby 4:08 AM Nov 3rd from Tweetie