langzhai
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Steve is teaching me to say "Yo, what up son?" Apparently it's a famous Yoga move.
1:41 AM May 4th
from Birdhouse
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Steve the Yoga guru has offered to train me for a pack of menthol Kools and a half-eaten Whopper. I don't know if I should trust this guy.
10:36 AM Apr 30th
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Tried to take up parkour. You know for things that are meant to save your life, fire escapes aren't as strong as they look.
5:46 AM Apr 28th
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Did my own Wii Fit today by watching yuppies in a gym across the street and standing on a stolen baking tray (the cupcakes were delish).
7:37 AM Apr 27th
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Trying to do some pushups in the alley, but every time I get into position, another homeless guy climbs on top of me.
10:30 PM Apr 25th
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Tried to sign up at a gym today. What part of "I'll pay you back after I conquer the world of male modeling" do you find so amusing, buddy?
8:49 PM Apr 23rd
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Discovered one of my homeless friends used to be a Yoga guru from CA. Moved here in the 90s thinking New Yorkers would be interested. Ha!
5:39 AM Apr 23rd
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Changed my begging sign to "Will work for a Prius" in honor of Earth Day.
7:28 PM Apr 22nd
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I didn't get the job after all. They suggested I get in shape. They don't tell you round is a shape in fancy private schools?
4:34 AM Apr 22nd
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That went well. They told me to go home as soon as I showed up. Wonder how they broke it to everyone else waiting that I got the job.
6:51 AM Apr 21st
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Just a few hours to casting. Better get changed into my best set of rags. Is the world ready for Jean Langzhai's return?
5:15 AM Apr 21st
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Going for a casting tomorrow. I should probably break into someone's home and take a shower.
12:36 PM Apr 20th
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The argument that Birdhouse only costs a latte is offset by the fact that in my world, stories about lattes are an oral history tradition.
9:28 AM Apr 19th
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Found myself a new agent. He was giving out flyers on the street but his other job is in artiste management.
9:52 PM Apr 18th
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Called a bunch of other agencies (and will never forget the indignities I endured to get those quarters), but only got more ignorant temps.
7:10 AM Apr 18th
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Dialled my agent from a payphone to make an appt. She no longer works there! The receptionist must be a temp, I had to repeat my name.
12:38 AM Apr 18th
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Oh, it was OBESITY. Fuck.
6:27 AM Apr 17th
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Composed a couplet today: from the pomp and flash of a fashion circus / to chomping on trash, o blunted purpose!
6:25 AM Apr 17th
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How did I gain weight while broke & homeless, you ask? I only ate from Michelin-starred garbage cans. Dirt on truffles = perfectly natural.
9:27 PM Apr 16th
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Almost had a clear shot at Tyson once but his security guys removed me on account of being "OB City". It's called BO, guys, get it right.
4:03 AM Apr 16th
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- Name Jean Langzhai
- Location Currently unknown
- Web http://findlangzh...
- Bio Official updates from the world of Jean Langzhai, international male supermodel.
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