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l_sycophant

  1. I don't know what I like most about my job: the ability to take a day off, or the ability to take my pants off.
  2. TODAY only: our Chicken Noodle Soup is buy one get one FREE! /via @Alexandria_WFM // Son of a bitch, I have to find my pants.
  3. All this time I thought pantophobia was a fear of wearing pants.
  4. Good grief!
  5. I like to walk a mile in someone's shoes before criticizing them. That way, I'm a mile away, and I have their shoes!
  6. Breaking News: I am not Tiger Woods' Nth mistress.
  7. Watching last night's SNL. Turns out Blake Lively is a girl w/ really long legs. Who knew?
  8. After that last second #UT win, I'm crying #tebowtears of joy.
  9. If anybody has a portable defibrilator, now would be a good time to bring it over.
  10. Dear UT football: Really? #ut
  11. I hope someone bottled St. Tebow's tears. I hear they can heal the sick, fix the economy, and help find Bin Laden.
  12. Perhaps St. Tebow should have eye-blacked the bible verse that asks jeebus to keep him from crying on TV.
  13. Happy Repeal Day! Suck it, Prohibition!
  14. Twitter oddity of the day: people RT-ing @Alyssa_Milano to warn of space junk headed toward ISS, while @NASA is silent.
  15. @samerfarha To be fair, it's a difficult concept to grasp - I still don't have a handle on "I'm working from home" myself.
  16. Total amount of Black Friday shoppings? $0. Suck it, capitalism!
  17. Fun Holiday family gossip: a 25 y.o. cousin in Cali is dating a 45 y.o. cougar. Rawr!
  18. Holy Clock Cycles, Batman! Video encoding w/ new quad core i7 and ATI Shadow is at least an order of magnitude faster than old P4.
  19. Dear Mr. Secretary:a broadcast message to all DoC employees w/o giving us the day after Thanksgiving off? #youaredoingitwrong
  20. Low tech hand puppets rock my world: the Muppets sing Bohemian Rhapsody on youtube. It really is as awesome as everybody says it is.