kurtw
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@ Yowza.
8:58 AM Nov 18th
from web
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@ I work for the US House of Representatives; DM me an email, I wanna get in touch with some ppl re: the bill for you & Avery
10:24 AM Nov 17th
from web
in reply to clapifyoulikeme
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@ HEY-O
9:26 AM Nov 17th
from web
in reply to katefeetie
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@ My Metro car was so adorned this morning; was going to snap a pic if I wasn't already late. Settled on barfing onto the tracks.
4:14 PM Nov 16th
from web
in reply to brianbolter
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@ Tell us about it.
10:26 AM Nov 13th
from web
in reply to urkillingme
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Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to drown my sorrows in a footlong's-worth of honey mustard sauce.
2:16 PM Nov 9th
from web
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My job search has only demonstrated that I apparently have no skills that anyone anywhere feels is worth giving me money in exchange for.
2:08 PM Nov 9th
from web
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I ran 7078m before hitting a wall and tumbling to my death on my iPhone.
12:51 PM Nov 9th
from API
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Hey Mr. McCarver, you know what else is huge in Tokyo besides Godzilla? Racial slurs. Accurate, hilarious racial slurs.
GODZIRRA!
5:38 PM Nov 4th
from Twitterrific
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@ The red looks exquisite.
9:52 AM Nov 4th
from web
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Miley fucking Cyrus has completely ruined my night out in DC. As if there weren't already enough reasons to hate her.
2:43 PM Nov 3rd
from Twitterrific
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Proctologist jokes are the pie-in-the-face routine of doctor humor. Still, I bet they make a shitload of money.
7:30 AM Nov 3rd
from web
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Bonus haiku:
iPhone listening /
There's no hour too early /
For Lady Gaga
7:57 AM Nov 2nd
from web
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@ Man, I'm glad I'm not the only one with sticky balls this morning. I mean, what?
6:30 AM Nov 2nd
from web
in reply to Tony_D
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Yes thank you I realized too late that it's a syllable too long. And "go fuck yourself" is a syllable too short.
6:18 AM Nov 2nd
from web
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Morning Metro walk /
Halloween candy strewn about /
Fallen soldiers, all
6:13 AM Nov 2nd
from web
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@ Read your "miserable" post and the Halloween story; I know we're strangers, but I hope you feel better - we've all been there
10:55 AM Nov 1st
from web
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Tonight I'm going as an unemployed 22 year old. Trust me; I have the perfect costume.
8:26 AM Oct 31st
from web
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@ Yours was better.
7:20 AM Oct 31st
from web
in reply to FriedaClub
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So pissed! I simply cannot find the right blazer to match this onesie. Fuck it, Lady Gaga can go as HERSELF for Halloween.
5:33 AM Oct 31st
from web
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- Name Kurt Williams
- Location Maryland/DC
- Web http://kurtw.tumb...
- Bio This space intentionally left blank.
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