Profile_bird

Hey there! kolchak is using Twitter.

Twitter is a free service that lets you keep in touch with people through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing? Join today to start receiving kolchak's tweets.

Already using Twitter
from your phone? Click here.

kolchak

  1. Printing out a mapquest to @benmarvin's house for National Hug a Jew day tomorrow. Then off to the store to buy customary gift of PBR. about 2 hours ago from web
  2. I'm doing this for the Gipper. Mostly because he's dead now and pretty much needs everything to be done for him. about 4 hours ago from web
  3. @abigvictory Its first word would either be "BOMBSHELL" or "dick." about 4 hours ago from web
  4. Fraggle Rock: Where guys go to stick their hands up the asses of little gremlins. Where do I sign up? about 5 hours ago from web
  5. And at some point, the rapists all decided to look like Quint from "Jaws". All because Robert Shaw didn't open the door for one in 1955. about 5 hours ago from web
  6. The inflatable lawn ornament for sweetest day should be me, alone, rewinding the sketching scene from titanic again and again and again. about 6 hours ago from web
  7. Triton? I always thought Satan just carried a three pronged dildo on a really long stick. about 6 hours ago from web
  8. The government took the brown pelican off the endangered species list. That means we can eat them, right? Because I'm not spitting this out. about 9 hours ago from SocialScope
  9. More proof life is cruel: the older you get the more places you have to hide your meth, except you'll always forget where that was. about 9 hours ago from SocialScope
  10. @gordonshumway Give Kenny Loggins a break. He's just trying to relive the glory days, damnit. You people have taken everything else. about 9 hours ago from web
  11. Also, Larry King's unforgettable Xmas hit: "Tell me again, Mary. Did you at any point take a pregnancy test to make sure it wasn't a tumor?" about 10 hours ago from web
  12. This Bob Dylan album is the best Jewish compilation of Christmas songs since Jackie Mason's "What? You expected a present? I have no money!" about 10 hours ago from web
  13. Medicare! Medicaid! Medicupcakes! about 10 hours ago from web
  14. Puss in boots is like the butchest type of puss you can get. Unless they're Uggs. But still. about 11 hours ago from SocialScope
  15. NY Daily news: 90% of University students in NY can't do basic algebra. Trust our staff's number because they all graduated from them. Wait. about 11 hours ago from web
  16. Carrie Prejean's mom saw her sex tape before I did. And then the clouds opened up and god said "I hate you, Ryan." about 13 hours ago from SocialScope
  17. Yes, youtube. I enjoyed that high end car ad that ran before my ten second video of cats falling off tables. You know your demographics. about 14 hours ago from web
  18. Britney Spears wasn't "hacked." The Frito Lay company just repossessed her account in lieu of the cash she's yet to pay them. about 14 hours ago from web
  19. And for the rest of her life, the actress that played the girl from "The Ring" will be asked to "do that snarly thing" in bed. 9:38 PM Nov 11th from web
  20. So we not cool and all and if you participate in a meme like this I'll again be forced to stab you in the eye with a rusted railroad spike. 9:26 PM Nov 11th from web