kittychunk
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The Great Weather Guru peered blearily from the second story window of his old age home. Cloudy, he thought, with a chance of showers.
11:31 PM Dec 23rd
from web
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If it breathes like a kitten, eats like a kitten, and mews like a kitten, it's probably a kitten. Or a cleverly-fashioned kitten robot.
1:02 AM Nov 30th
from web
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When you get right down to it, people are basically just a tube surrounded by meat.
1:16 AM Nov 25th
from web
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The man sat, staring at the polystyrene cup. Was it half full, half empty, or just the wrong size for the job?
4:36 AM Nov 19th
from web
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There was a riot at the university cafeteria. The cause was later established as a catastrophic doughnut shortage.
12:18 AM Nov 18th
from web
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I think every Bugatti Veyron should come with its own lake at purchase, for the owner to drive into at his or her discretion.
3:14 AM Nov 17th
from web
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At the back of the bookstore, I once found a copy of Calculus and Analytical Geometry (8th Edition) nestling among Shakespeare and Keats.
2:41 AM Nov 16th
from web
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I opened my window and sat on the sill for a while. Some people thought I was going to jump, but I was just enjoying the view.
11:38 PM Nov 12th
from web
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Sadness is, quite often, a half-inflated soccer ball.
2:06 AM Nov 12th
from web
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A handy time-saver would be to make all bottle caps the same size so that they fit everything, even your car radiator.
12:18 AM Nov 10th
from web
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Translating one's board presentation from English to Chinese and back again in order to elicit laughs isn't a wise career move.
11:12 PM Nov 8th
from web
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The coffee in my mug had been there all week. It was starting to ask penetrating questions about the nature of existence.
4:42 AM Nov 6th
from web
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Protip: Human crania, while excellent conversation pieces, make relatively poor hanging flower pots.
10:55 PM Nov 4th
from web
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I made a paper ball and drew a smiley face on it. It's crying on the inside, though.
4:22 AM Nov 4th
from web
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I looked around for someone to talk to, but the universe was out of order.
4:48 AM Oct 30th
from web
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I think you're already a pretty angry person by the time the universe shoehorns you into dentistry as a career.
11:57 PM Oct 28th
from web
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Did you know! Peak caps can be neatly folded back on themselves to create a soft boomerang suitable for children.
1:39 AM Oct 28th
from web
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I would like to be part of the review panel the next time the continued existence of celery is up for discussion.
2:18 AM Oct 27th
from web
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Later, the fall of civilisation would be traced back to the practice of making food and drink the colour of traffic cones.
1:43 AM Oct 26th
from web
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I think a good way to tell if the glass is half empty or half full would be to look at the first derivative.
5:09 AM Oct 24th
from web
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- Name Quinn Reynolds
- Web http://www.quinnr...
- Bio Millionaire philanthropist, beekeeper, shark whisperer, and professional liar.
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