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khren

  1. I'm going to wear a sign that says, "Yes it's a nice day," so that people will make small talk with me about something else.
  2. Memo. To: Teenage girls walking slowly in front of me talking on cellphones. Re: Being in my way. Message body: Get the fuck out of my way!
  3. This is some crazy shit. Be sure to watch the video on Youtube, linked at the end of the article. Poor deer. http://bit.ly/1fz8A5
  4. After several brushes, flossing, and mouthwashing, it is clear I and anyone I talk to today will enjoy the Afghan meal I had last night.
  5. Lady just told me my bag is cute. Slightly emasculated, but mostly giddy and happy someone noticed my totally rad Gama-Go bag.
  6. Trying to walk from 18 and Pennsylvania to 14 and Pennsylvania. I think there may be a house of some sort in my way.
  7. My desire for the new Aspire Revo computer is both high and ludicrous, making it very likely that I will get one.
  8. For the amount of money I pay for shaving razors, they should give me: a) more than 3 days of use; b) handjobs.
  9. Woman arguing loudly against government healthcare. I hope she has enough insurance to cover the punch in the mouth coming her way.
  10. Am I the only one who runs through Metro turnstyles for fear that the gates will close too quickly and squash my nuts?
  11. I can't help but feel a little insulted when the automatic bathroom air freshener goes off as soon as I walk in.
  12. I haven't read much news the last few days. I'm suffering from information underload.
  13. "Next on your local news: weird shit happening to crazy people."
  14. @vanillary Yes, I'm taking a training class all this week for work. Your retaliation idea is good and unlikely to land me in prison.
  15. Teacher keeps saying 'guesstimate'. I need a proportional response; I am considering choking him with his necktie.
  16. Local politician handing out information outside Metro. In pink Uggs. Lost my vote.
  17. Meb Keflezighi!
  18. The fact that I'm not alone in my feelings keeps me following @gruber RT @hotdogsladies: Mr. October (with love) http://bit.ly/4uSeAg
  19. In good Halloween-related news, my boss's daughter is going as a vampire pirate, which may be the coolest costume idea ever.
  20. A perfect example of the wussification of America http://bit.ly/Sk9n9 . At my office, they aren't even calling it Halloween; it's Harvest!