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kellydeal

  1. My mom won't let me use the good crystal stemware for my wine because, "That's for the guests."
  2. Who needs trucker pills when you have blinding uterine pain to keep you alert and awake.
  3. 250 miles in, I've reached the point of the trip where I make wrong turns just so the GPS lady has to talk to me for company.
  4. HOW MANY TOFURKYS MUST DIE FOR YOUR HOLIDAY, AMERICA??
  5. Music catagory is: songs from 1994. I GOT THIS. WHAT IS MY LOST YOUTH?
  6. Think we're going with Lemon Party. THANKS FOR THE NO HELP GUYS.
  7. Pub quiz team name: FourGy or Lemon Party?
  8. @RexHuppke So ya found the retweet button, didja?
  9. @cinnachick Ha, thanks. They're OK for the summer, but dark-winter-times I'm stubbing toes & wearing more-than-usual lint to work!
  10. You see, the thing about energy-efficient light bulbs is YOU DON'T. YOU CAN'T SEE A THING. JUST BRING ME A FUCKING CANDELABRA, HIPPIE.
  11. This bacon would be a lot easier to eat if I hadn't ordered all that pesky Cobb Salad with it.
  12. RT @amazonmp3: For a limited time, use code MP34FREE to get a $3 credit good towards songs or albums at Amazon MP3. Details: http://bit. ...
  13. Dear people: I was in one pissed-off mood before "Single Ladies" popped up on iTunes. BEYONCE JUST SAVED YOUR LIFE.
  14. I HATE LAUNDROMAT TOURISTS
  15. I'm pretty sure it's time to stop the internet when I start wondering about messing up "Fanta" for "Faygo" when making a Juggalo joke.
  16. @davegorum Sure you can always buy an adorable polar bear. But can you buy @worldwarmike's adorable face & all the joy it brings you?
  17. @davegorum Look, I love you both. But you drew the line. Now, both of you franchise, make up, then buy a polar bear. Whatever it takes.
  18. @worldwarmike Team Edward & Team Jacob t-shirts are so passe! I'm probably going to have to make TEAM @WORLDWARMIKE t-shirts now.
  19. @F6x I wish I had now. Damnit!
  20. Feel sad for the kids who'll never know the joy of getting a NIN tape stuck in their Ford Escort's cassette deck for an entire year.