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echuckles
a guy who started an online dating site asked me out last night. at a bar. not great for business, buddy.
10:37 AM June 29, 2008
from web
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nevenmrgan
1st floor: Men's / Kids / Babies / Maternity / Pets / Grasses / Chupacabras / Wholesale Radio Towers / Grocery / Helium. 2nd floor: Women's.
08:38 PM June 28, 2008
from Hahlo
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echuckles
visiting chicago for the first time. pronouncing the "h" in words like "what" and "where" to fit in. not whorking too whell so far.
12:38 PM June 27, 2008
from web
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paige
Stevie Wonder's life would have been so different if he'd gone by Steve.
04:16 PM June 26, 2008
from web
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lisasho
Twitter is kind of like confession for exhibitionists, but without the expectation of penance.
04:26 PM June 20, 2008
from txt
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paige
Chose my sis' 114 degree house over my parents' 82 degree house
04:04 PM June 20, 2008
from txt
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jimray
Sorry, mom, as the new owner of a KitchenAid Professional 600 Stand Mixer, I basically have no reason to get married now.
09:42 PM June 19, 2008
from web
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hiweslie
MSNBC has Jamie Lynn's baby daddy's occupation listed as "pipelayer." I don't feel like I need to add anything to that to make it funnier.
03:16 PM June 19, 2008
from web
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jimray
"Yes, my parents actually named me that: A life in three syllables" by Jim Bob Ray
09:31 PM June 18, 2008
from web
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hiweslie
Retail outlets would have you believe dads are only interested in barbecuing, golfing and trimming unsightly body hair.
10:36 PM June 12, 2008
from web
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echuckles
"favourites" should be in different colours and should cast rumours about your neighbours' behaviour and funny odours. that'd be humourous!
01:05 PM June 08, 2008
from web
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echuckles
going swimming without waiting the requisite 1,000 hours after eating. grandparents everywhere just cringed and they don't know why.
09:15 AM June 08, 2008
from web
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hiweslie
I love going grocery shopping late on a Friday night. No lines! Also, no social life!
10:49 PM June 06, 2008
from web
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echuckles
fun trick: answer the door wielding the knife you just used to cut beets with a maniacal look in your eyes. good times.
04:42 PM June 06, 2008
from web
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paige
The brand of toilet paper in my massage therapist's office is called: Shitbegone. Humor and massage = wow.
11:03 AM June 04, 2008
from web
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echuckles
"i like me just the way i am!" a crazy lady declared to me as she walked past a weight loss product ad in the subway. well, i like you, too.
11:03 AM June 04, 2008
from web
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hiweslie
Decided to go for the smokey eye look today. Just back from the restroom and realized I have the victim of domestic abuse eye look instead.
01:41 PM June 03, 2008
from web
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jimray
I dunno. If GM stops making Hummers, we'll need some other metric to identify poorly endowed douchebags.
09:54 AM June 03, 2008
from twitterrific
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oalocke
These new headphones are amazing. I almost couldn't hear my wife screaming at me for spending $200 on a pair of headphones.
07:36 PM June 02, 2008
from Hahlo
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jimray
Chapel Hillians, I'll be at He's Not in half an hour or so if you wanna meet up for a blue cup.
06:14 PM May 10, 2008
from txt
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