kariedwards
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It was nice of a classmate to ask if I'd lost weight, but I still don't get why "Yes, thanks to the tapeworm" isn't an appropriate response.
9:20 AM Aug 24th
from Birdhouse
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What is shame? It's reliving that moment when you added "Three Men and a Baby" to your Netflix queue and thought it was a great idea.
9:50 AM Aug 15th
from Birdhouse
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Apparently Twitter's "block" feature does NOT apply to real life. Which sucks, cause I've been dying to block Toby Keith for a while now.
1:53 PM Aug 8th
from Birdhouse
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Despite controversy, @ continues to remind us all that, to his knowledge, the US has never had a racist president before Obama.
12:30 PM Aug 1st
from Birdhouse
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Getting ready to watch @ play live. The middle-aged fat women in miniskirts will be wrangled off the dance floor momentarily.
6:45 PM Jul 30th
from Tweetie
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Does anyone at Bayside High realize students don't normally hang out with their principal? I'm starting to question Mr. Belding's motives.
6:58 AM Jul 30th
from Birdhouse
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Dear Nick at Nite: Please stop showing "The Nanny." My nightmares are even more unbearable now that Fran Drescher narrates all of them.
1:31 PM Jul 29th
from web
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@ You should really go see someone about your fear of line dancing.
1:17 PM Jul 24th
from Tweetie
in reply to ECByrd
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@ Sounds to me like you're volunteering to do vocals on that one.
12:34 PM Jul 24th
from Tweetie
in reply to BrittAnnEdwards
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Just because I enjoy weight loss secrets, lowering your car insurance rates, and CLICK HERE FOR A FREE iPOD doesn't mean I'm a spam-bot.
7:38 AM Jul 24th
from web
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I hope all these tweets about Apollo 11 won't impact the outcome of the mission.
10:37 AM Jul 20th
from web
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@ I guess that means you'll have to reply TWICE to my next geography joke.
9:58 AM Jul 20th
from Tweetie
in reply to Elkaintmoose
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@ Thank you!
8:57 AM Jul 20th
from Tweetie
in reply to AvatarMonica
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Note to Self: No one "got" your hilarious geography tweet. You also forgot to mention poop or sex, so it won't make Favrd. Try again later.
8:28 AM Jul 20th
from web
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I considered grad school in Georgia, but the CIA says it's unsafe to travel there. When did they change the capital from Atlanta to Tbilisi?
7:43 AM Jul 20th
from Birdhouse
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No matter what happens out there, I always count on Fox News to provide a plethora of screaming white men who will blame it on someone else.
7:20 AM Jul 18th
from Birdhouse
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Rifftrax Live in Nashville on 8/20! (via @ & @). I'm going, but don't let that deter you.
11:59 AM Jul 17th
from Tweetie
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@ I was gonna reply with "That's what she said," but the crickets started chirping before I even finished typing.
10:15 AM Jul 17th
from Tweetie
in reply to SassyGirlTN
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"The dog's asleep on the coach," he mistyped. My only follow-up question was "Which coach? Craig T. Nelson, or the one from Cheers?"
8:36 AM Jul 17th
from Birdhouse
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I went on vacation for four days and all you guys got was this lousy tweet.
7:28 AM Jul 15th
from Birdhouse
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- Name Kari
- Location a luxurious cave in Pakistan
- Web http://favrd.text...
- Bio Numerous Twitterers have chosen my tasteless humor and dick jokes over their previous brand. Come see why!
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