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kairooney

  1. My name is normal! Peaches. Blossom. Apple - they sound like a range of Glade plug ins... 2:51 PM Nov 22nd from Tweetie
  2. Mummy and Daddy walked into a building... You'd think at least one of them would have seen it. 7:17 AM Nov 18th from TweetDeck
  3. Daddy almost drowned in a bowl of muesli this morning. A strong currant pulled him in... 4:03 AM Nov 18th from TweetDeck
  4. Police arrested 2 kids. 1 was drinking battery acid the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. 3:55 AM Nov 18th from TweetDeck
  5. Been given a 1 min 'naughty step' timeout for foul and abusive nappy contents... 5:37 AM Nov 16th from TweetDeck
  6. Daddy says Heskey eats, drinks and sleeps football. It's just a pity he can't play it... 7:32 AM Nov 13th from TweetDeck
  7. Grandad lost £50 on a horse race yesterday. And another £50 on the replay. 3:02 AM Nov 13th from TweetDeck
  8. Mummy said she couldn't buy new "Guess" jeans yesterday because she didn't know the answer... 2:45 AM Nov 13th from TweetDeck
  9. Mummy out on the town. Daddy abroad. I'm left here with a microwaved milk for one... http://bit.ly/3PLVN4 4:13 AM Nov 12th from TweetDeck
  10. Mummy bought me and Daddy t-shirts that match... with writing on. It says "Granny Magnet". 9:24 AM Nov 10th from TweetDeck
  11. Daddy is so stupid. When the police told him he broke the speed limit, he offered to fix it. 6:48 AM Nov 10th from TweetDeck
  12. Daddy wants me tattooed too! He wants "feed this end" written on my forehead. 6:52 AM Nov 6th from TweetDeck
  13. Daddy is wearing this today... http://bit.ly/2eWCPC 2:02 AM Nov 6th from TweetDeck
  14. Daddy is daft. He thought an umbilical cord was part of a parachute... 9:26 AM Nov 5th from TweetDeck
  15. First video footage of me and my friends playing. Its for my first TV ad! http://bit.ly/13fh3M 5:42 AM Nov 5th from TweetDeck
  16. Mummy thought Bob da Builder was one of Daddy's Dutch football chums... 3:53 AM Nov 5th from TweetDeck
  17. Daddy was told to be careful with me as I'm delicate. Now I get gloves when he puts me in goal for shooting practice... 8:42 AM Nov 4th from TweetDeck
  18. Mummy said the baby had to keep his hands warm last night. And he did by wearing gloves against CSKA Moscow... 5:01 AM Nov 4th from TweetDeck
  19. These crazy frog ear muffs keep falling off. Mummy says they'll stay on better after I get my ears pierced tho... 9:27 AM Nov 3rd from TweetDeck
  20. Daddy has a sore leg so can't play football unless he has a cortisone injection. Mummy said "If you get a new car I want one too" 8:04 AM Nov 3rd from TweetDeck
  • Name Kai Wayne Rooney
  • Location £3.5million mansion, Cheshire
  • Bio Dribbling baby, first born to Wayne and Coleen, Superstar in training
0 Following 952 Followers 35 Listed