juliussharpe
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92% of arguments between mothers and sons are over whether the son needs a jacket.
about 1 hour ago
from web
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The answering machine greeting of everyone over 70 sounds like they've been kidnapped.
about 20 hours ago
from web
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I've never listened to the Rolling Stones on purpose.
about 20 hours ago
from web
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"Show your fupa for charity!" (Unsuccessful fund raiser)
about 23 hours ago
from web
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Tiger Woods isn't just an adulterer...he is perhaps one of THE GREATEST ADULTERERS OF ALL-TIME. The crowd has chills.
about 24 hours ago
from web
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New diet plan: switch from beer to pot.
6:38 PM Dec 8th
from web
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It's probably just a reflection of the time I grew up, but I'm still really impressed by Jordache jeans.
12:55 PM Dec 8th
from web
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Interesting fact: over 80% of men named Sergey are assassins.
10:43 AM Dec 8th
from web
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Shocking news: Tiger Woods May Have Slept with Wife.
9:56 AM Dec 8th
from web
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I'm a groupie for tribute bands. I slept with two chicks who look like they might have been in Heart.
9:55 AM Dec 8th
from web
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If you eat baked alaska more than three times a week, you will not live through the end of 2010.
8:21 PM Dec 7th
from web
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"So then I put on 'The Muppet Show' theme, and we had sex." (guy who doesn't understand why she didn't call back.)
9:28 AM Dec 7th
from web
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"Would you like to hear our specials tonight?" "Honestly? No."
2:47 PM Dec 6th
from Echofon
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"Wow, check out the gam on her!" (ogling at the leper colony)
12:28 PM Dec 6th
from Echofon
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Woke up in a cold sweat realizing I'm still "It" from a tag game that happened 28 years ago.
6:36 PM Dec 5th
from Echofon
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All any bald man wants to be told is that he looks like Jason Statham.
6:33 PM Dec 5th
from Echofon
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"He watched 'You Don't Mess with the Zohan' several times" (underwhelming epitaph)
6:27 PM Dec 5th
from Echofon
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"I have a mentor!" = a creepy older person has taken an interest in me for selfish reasons, probably sexual.
2:17 PM Dec 5th
from web
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It's a good thing I can't kick anyone's ass. Because if I could that would be all I did. I'd be too busy.
8:31 PM Dec 4th
from Echofon
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When I get home tonight I'm going to pee directly onto a Sham-wow.
12:37 PM Dec 4th
from Echofon
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- Name Julius Sharpe
- Location LA, CA
- Bio My parents found me in a basket on their stoop when I was 35.
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