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jsttmfb

  1. Adult toy stores are open until midnight. The More You Know.about 15 hours ago from Tweetie
  2. Chilled forks, bitches.about 19 hours ago from Tweetie
  3. @funkatron Yes. Sweet, sweet sleep is totally worth bralessness. We are now in deep negotiations for other commodities.about 20 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to funkatron
  4. My friend just told me she'd trade me seven Ambien for my bra.about 21 hours ago from Tweetie
  5. I'm the girl in the cocktail dress buying bottles of wine. And glasses. And a wine opener.about 22 hours ago from Tweetie
  6. @ConnArtist99 Awesome. They need to cross-market that to appeal to martini splashers.about 23 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to ConnArtist99
  7. My couch is not nearly absorbant enough.about 24 hours ago from Tweetie
  8. Next? Booze. I need a drink after all this talk of nipple guards.about 24 hours ago from Tweetie
  9. At massage place filling out paperwork: "Is there a clause where you can't sue if they touch you inappropriately?" "Sue? That costs extra."10:25 AM Nov 7th from Tweetie
  10. "I much prefer porn-again Christians to born-again Christians. Hands down."9:49 AM Nov 7th from Tweetie
  11. I'm about to begin "Operation Reclaim Friend's Mojo," so there is your context for what folows. I medal in this sport.9:01 AM Nov 7th from Tweetie
  12. @brianrlawson MORGAN FTW!8:13 AM Nov 7th from Tweetie in reply to brianrlawson
  13. @brianrlawson Go, Morgan!5:55 AM Nov 7th from Tweetie in reply to brianrlawson
  14. That white leather braided belt is not doing a thing for you, sir.7:59 PM Nov 6th from web
  15. @randomtopicgrl2 Uh oh! It may still be better than watching a show about refurbishing kitchens in rundown houses. Or laundry on Fri night!7:45 PM Nov 6th from web in reply to randomtopicgrl2
  16. @yodelmachine Let us know when you get here! I am eager with anticipation!4:07 PM Nov 6th from Tweetie in reply to yodelmachine
  17. @detweiler (Serious tweet.) I didn't know you served. I'd like to sincerely thank you for that.8:11 PM Nov 5th from Tweetie
  18. So today I learned that I have million dollar phone presence. So for those of you who have never spoken with me, watch your wallets.3:20 PM Nov 5th from web
  19. @brianrlawson That was like a foreign language.6:39 AM Nov 5th from Tweetie in reply to brianrlawson
  20. That MILF-themed, "mouthwatering" Halls Refresh ad is disturbing. And she is the least MILFy MILF they could have chosen.6:19 PM Nov 4th from Tweetie