jorshuwah
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It's amazing the different levels one can reach by meditating in an elevator.
about 3 hours ago
from web
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My nude self portrait entitled "Elephantiasis Man Learns to Paint" is almost finished. Made my local art shop run out of Depleted Grey! Lol
2:43 PM Nov 28th
from web
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Over the cheers of the crowd with jelly in my mullet, existential angst envelops me. Is jelly wrestling for me?
And just like that, I lost.
2:00 PM Nov 26th
from web
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Skinner's theory that ppl can be trained to do things for a reward allowed me to get 65% more blowjobs by high fiving post felatio. Yay!
4:19 PM Nov 25th
from TweetDeck
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I regret getting the words TEENAGE DRUNKEN ANGST tattooed between my nipples for my 17th birthday. But, yes. It really *means* something.
4:50 AM Nov 24th
from web
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Spontaneity is my middle nameNOT ANYMORE! Now it's jizzburger.
1:14 PM Nov 21st
from web
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In a mutual apology situation I apologise first, forcing the other party to apologise, I then say: "A-HA! I wasn't really sorry!". Sorry.
4:37 AM Nov 18th
from web
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Reasons why angels make bad wingmen: 1. their giant wing span means they knock over other ppls drinks. 2. their moral superiority is irksome
2:23 PM Nov 15th
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"Book an unforgettable Laser Skirmish xmas party". Subtext: Very few people forget permanent blindness.
4:35 AM Nov 15th
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If you're happy and you know it clap your hands! I thought we should make this funeral more of a celebration. Who knows the macarena?
5:10 AM Nov 13th
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great grandmother ghosty, can I call u that? I'm here with a psychic. If I stop wearing ur elegant floral dress will you stop haunting me?
5:36 AM Nov 12th
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Imagine a child who was born as just a big ball of ears. Now imagine they say: I'm all ears. Any response might deafen the poor infant. Shhh
3:48 AM Nov 11th
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"Sorry I'm not perfect." "ROFL. Stop rubbing that in Jesus." ":) Sorry dad. Hey, can we tie our beards together?" "No. That's weird."
4:08 AM Nov 9th
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Best. Day. Ever! Shrink took my side. He got my dominatrix to admit she LIKED me. Now we're going to see other ppl. Everything's looking up!
7:05 PM Nov 7th
from web
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Mother, why is it always me who has to remove the humans from the room? It's not that hard. - A. Spider
7:23 PM Nov 6th
from web
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We all agreed to tattoo the name of our band 'Flaccid Oppressor' on our dicks. But I was the only one to do it = one unhappy tambourinist :(
4:48 AM Nov 6th
from web
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A warm tear rolled down his cheek. He was listening to gypsy music. Memories of that fateful night returned. Sad burlesque sex. And KFC.
3:58 PM Nov 5th
from web
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Wow. Those kangaroos sure get offended easily. And they pack a mean punch. Who knew those incestuous hopping fucks could understand english?
5:40 AM Nov 5th
from web
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You think I'm stupid for stealing that hobo's hat, don't you dad? Can't you see how dashing I look in it? I JUST WANT YOU TO BE PROUD OF ME.
6:58 AM Nov 4th
from web
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There's nothing quite as amusing as organising a huge suprise party for an agoraphobic friend. Sooo funny, big scared eyes and the writhing!
6:26 PM Nov 3rd
from web
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- Name Josh S
- Location Sydney, Australia.
- Web http://favstar.fm...
- Bio I'm 24. I study law full time. I like imaginative or witty humor or just the mundane.
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