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jordanrubin

  1. After every sexual innuendo, someone goes "That's what she said." I'm starting to think that this woman is a real whore. about 4 hours ago from Twittelator
  2. Please stop tweeting about your holiday airport delays. Nobody cares. (getting an early start on tweets this week) about 5 hours ago from Twittelator
  3. My friend John Dvi-Vardhana's new Star Wars/Scarface mash up. Amazing: http://tiny.cc/ScarWars about 7 hours ago from web
  4. I'm writing a book about a male contortionist who has the ability to blow himself, but doesn't like giving oral. about 16 hours ago from Twittelator
  5. I bet you could use the internet to look things up. 12:49 PM Nov 22nd from Twittelator
  6. Nerd goal: Is anyone on an airborne plane, with WIFI and iChat during next 4.5 hrs? Want to try plane-to-plane video chat. 7:04 AM Nov 22nd from Twittelator
  7. They should make a remake of the remake of that show "V." 1:19 AM Nov 22nd from Twittelator
  8. It's never too late to say you're not sorry. 12:18 AM Nov 22nd from Twittelator
  9. Did Soulja Boy ever end up telling 'em? 11:24 AM Nov 21st from Twittelator
  10. Hey cat: You've got 9 lives. Skydive. Have sex without a condom. At least leave the house once in awhile. 7:50 AM Nov 21st from Twittelator
  11. You guys. We should really do something for @iamdiddy's 40th birthday. I'm thinking something small, intimate. 7:13 AM Nov 21st from Twittelator
  12. Why was Lincoln's assassination such a big deal? Even if he hadn't been murdered, he'd still be dead by now. 1:30 AM Nov 21st from Twittelator
  13. My painting style? Abstract Regressionism. I start by dripping paint onto a canvas on the floor & end by pooping my diaper. 12:48 AM Nov 21st from Twittelator
  14. Hired an old British man to trail me and narrate my life. "Downing a 6th tequila shot, he'll shortly drunk-dial his ex." 7:48 PM Nov 20th from Twittelator
  15. OMG! OMG! Apparently if you crack R-Pattz open, he's filled with cotton candy. 10:42 PM Nov 19th from Twittelator
  16. I was so saddened to find out that Oprah is still on the air. 5:32 PM Nov 19th from Twittelator
  17. Just found out that in England they refer to cigarettes as "Homosexuals." 10:29 AM Nov 19th from Twittelator
  18. Whenever they slide a Vietnamese menu under my door, I pray that it's a letter from the child I Ieft behind in 'Nam. 10:16 AM Nov 19th from Twittelator
  19. How many days should you wait to call after a date rape? #HowDareMeJokeAboutSuchThings 10:31 PM Nov 17th from Twittelator
  20. Do I have a sign on my back that reads "Stay home hungover and masturbate all day?" Seriously, who do I think I am? 8:16 AM Nov 17th from Twittelator