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Turns out the Eggo Waffle Shortage is no big deal: these waffles aren't that good. (My apologies to the lady I wrestled them away from.)7:16 AM Dec 16thfrom HootSuite
Unopened MacBook Pro has been under my desk for days. When did I become such a sad old drudge that I could let this happen? Opening it now.5:49 PM Nov 19thfrom TweetDeck
Can hear to The Cult doing their soundcheck at the Wellmont. Trying to type but my hands keep making the sign of the horns.2:50 PM Nov 10thfrom TweetDeck
Dropped my Macbook from 3 ft and now the superdrive plays a funky R2D2 tune when it wakes up. Not the excuse to upgrade I was looking for.1:51 PM Nov 10thfrom TweetDeck
Made one t-shirt comment and now @NerdyShirts is following me. Can't swing a dead cat without hitting a salesman. Great shirts, though.8:07 PM Nov 9thfrom TweetDeck
Just saw a dude wearing the same funny tee shirt I wore yesterday. How unoriginal of him.1:11 PM Nov 9thfrom TweetDeck
Pity the poor slob who receives this email: "The Douche Police is now following you on Twitter!" I sure didn't receive one.2:55 PM Oct 26thfrom TweetDeck
The best email spam subject line I've seen yet: "I'm dying, who cares"4:02 PM Oct 24thfrom TweetDeck
I hate to shill for products--especially when not being paid--but I just built my cat Super-Feeder and fully expect it to change my life.7:21 PM Oct 22ndfrom TweetDeck
Exhausted all my energy and wit in just two short months of using "social media." How sad. Where can I hire a bot to take this job over?9:12 PM Sep 15thfrom TweetDeck