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joeschmidt

  1. Apparently I set my time machine for downtown Baghdad, January of 1991.
  2. Nothing says Americana like a Nathan's hot dog in a water soaked bun.
  3. Today's weather is very British, cool and gray but well behaved. Mother Nature hates our independence.
  4. Sarah Palin's announcement puts her in a league of others who have given up, most notably the Chicago Cubs and France.
  5. Called my son "Sarah Palin" when he quit an hour into a game of war. My topical humor is lost on 10 year olds.
  6. Fcuking typos.
  7. Sarah Palin is stepping down as Alaska Governor she can spend more time not being with her family.
  8. @badbanana What your neighbor is really telling you is he wants you to watch his package.
  9. I wish science would invent a pill for morning after hair.
  10. I got 99 socks but a match ain't one.
  11. Scrapbooking is a load of crop.
  12. If this radio is to be believed, there ain't no rest for the wicked or double negatives.
  13. @dustyd Thanks for the RT earlier. Glad to see you finally received those checks I sent you.
  14. Reason #73 why I shouldn't win powerball: I would pay a small town in Illinois to change it's name to Kim Jong.
  15. Dick Cheney is as puzzled as the rest of us as to how he made it through last week.
  16. You just hope Michael had a will. How else will his family know which silken paramilitary body thong he wanted to be buried in?
  17. Have a headache? Don't use Mighty Endit™.
  18. If there's a lesson to be learned from the events of the past few days it's that when AARP asks you to join, YOU JOIN.
  19. I'd be a bit leery of buying an iPhone app called Duck Hunt.
  20. Taking "Be a 50 year old celebrity" off my to-do list.