jman_updates
-
a girl made me breakfast with tofu. she put hers into an omelette, i threw mine at the neighbor's cat
1:25 PM Nov 14th
from web
-
andy samberg is like weird al... but FUNNY haha, can't believe reynolds and elwood did a cameo!
12:58 PM Nov 13th
from web
-
realized the definition of a "hooptie" today as i took the chrome trim off a classic car i bought, underneath it... rust city
8:55 PM Nov 11th
from web
-
Guitar Hero is dangerous, gives u a false sense of confidence which is shattered when you try jamming in public & realize u suck
8:17 AM Oct 27th
from web
-
she's in a coma with a slim chance of recovery, she's only in her 20s... i don't care if i loose all my joke-"followers" for this...
7:50 PM Oct 19th
from web
-
i need my followers to do something amazing... please pray for the recovery of Jamie Hurd, an amazing girl just getting her start in films
7:49 PM Oct 19th
from web
-
i do half-assed work. not my fault... my mom always complained about having no ass, and my dad thinks he has an average ass
9:55 PM Sep 16th
from web
-
when a producer is not currently "producing" on anything, he should change his title to "Bored, Rich, Strip-Club Regular"
1:08 PM Sep 11th
from mobile web
-
RT @ "Fill in the blank... when i was a kid, i spent most of my time ___ and it was amazing." ...masterbating.
12:13 PM Sep 6th
from mobile web
-
wondering how some actors can be dicks on set if they have total control over their personality :D lazy bastards
12:06 PM Sep 6th
from mobile web
-
if a vampire peed blood, would he freak out?
5:25 PM Sep 5th
from mobile web
-
heard someone say "o.m.g." ... guess its quicker to say than "oh my god"...
2:03 PM Sep 4th
from mobile web
-
had a rough morning jog where every burp tasted like different things i drank last night, each bringing a different memory
3:47 PM Aug 2nd
from web
-
if i hear another tweet about what someone's eating while typing, i'll loose all hope for humanity... unless it's tacos
12:06 AM Jul 27th
from web
-
you know last night got too wild when a stripper brings you breakfast in bed...
10:20 PM Jul 15th
from web
-
haha, Betty White is a riot!
2:13 AM Jul 9th
from web
-
i solved a rubix cube today! it opened & there was a leprechaun inside! yeah he was dead, 8 years of nothing to eat but gold...
1:24 AM Jul 9th
from web
-
on a lighter note, you know you're getting old when the elderly man you just helped cross the street is actually your drinking buddy
2:03 AM Jul 4th
from web
-
just heard @ passed away on the 28th, R.I.P.. sure all infomercials are annoying, but the guy had great ideas. smart man
1:58 AM Jul 4th
from web
-
haha, really Michael? this comes as a shock? people see your movies because of special effects? no way...
1:44 AM Jul 4th
from web
|
- Name J-Man
- Location Los Angeles, CA
- Web http://www.comedy...
- Bio Daily thoughts from the twisted mind of a comedian...
|
