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JimNorton

  1. @JamesSmithComic Hey man how are you? Haven't seen you in forever
  2. @RobPwhitney I said defunding these other countries is a START. I was talking about how we waste money. Don't misquote me.
  3. It's no coincidence Mayor Bloomberg is banning sugary drinks but not salty ones. #ThreeTermSpoiledBrat
  4. I dreamt I was going to be a father, and I was bummed it wasn't with a girl I cared about. I woke up feeling like a douchebag.
  5. NYC is trying to ban the sale of large sodas, but not large beers. Once again, Aunt Bloomberg thinking for everyone else. Elitist asshole.
  6. Saw the pics of the face biting victim in Miami. Eerily familiar to the attack that happened in Connecticut a few years ago.
  7. @vonsuch Jesus man as many horrible things as I write, can't I tweet ONE nice thing?
  8. Robin Quivers went in for surgery, does anyone know how she is? She's a nice woman, I like her a lot.
  9. . @sebastianbach Your last tweet made me wish I went running instead of eating pretzels with mustard like a fat-faced idiot. Tomorrow!
  10. I hope this horrible cunt of a woman is attacked by someone whose breath smells like bath salt. tinyurl.com/7g7x6fj
  11. Miami face biter has been ID'd. Friends are shocked, insisting he was always such a 'fussy eater '. Funeral next week, buffet to follow.
  12. With @LadyStarlightNY after taping on Ozzy's Boneyard. Airs tonight 9pm I LOVE Lady Starlight. instagr.am/p/LNzIiVsovD/
  13. RT @TheRevAl: We are at NAN Atlanta office. --What does NAN stand for? I've come up with something that is undoubtedly incorrect.
  14. Frank McRae SCREAMING at Nick Nolte in 48 Hours. One of my favorite characters in movie history. instagr.am/p/LMhrF3MoqC/