JimiMack7
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Just heard someone argue for government limits on junk food because too many of us are "obeast."
Sounds like we need more "lyberries."
18 minutes ago
via web
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Q: How do you make a douche-bag smile?
A: Not guilty on one count, hung on five others.
about 3 hours ago
via web
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"...and that's just how we roll."
--Spanish teacher, on how to pronounce R's.
about 3 hours ago
via web
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I never move faster than when I am given the choice to "skip ad."
about 8 hours ago
via web
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That awkwardness when a co-worker's wig is so bad you're convinced that the ACTUAL wig must be at home clumsily attached to a mop handle.
about 10 hours ago
via web
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Four out of five doctors agree:
that fifth guy is kind of a douche-bag.
about 11 hours ago
via web
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"Who to follow: Ryan Seacrest, Andy Dick, Samantha Ronson..."
Yeah Twitter, you've really got me figured out.
about 11 hours ago
via web
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Always has great breath, but won't shut up about her rock star ex-husband:
Binaca Jagger.
about 11 hours ago
via web
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BREAKING--Baseball player ejected from game after ingesting bath salts, eating catcher's face mask.
1:07 PM May 30th
via web
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Is "Naked Planking" a thing, or should I just call the authorities?
12:37 PM May 30th
via web
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The first time I tried eating buffalo, I chipped my tooth. It was a nickel. (This tweet submitted for consideration to the Nobel committee.)
11:22 AM May 30th
via web
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@ I thought that was just in the States!
2:30 PM May 29th
via web
in reply to _LriChy_
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"Now Enriched With Cannibal-Suppressant!"--new sticker on bath salt containers.
1:30 PM May 29th
via web
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"Do a little dance, make a little love, get down off that ladder, you'll break your hip."--anyone who remembers the original.
1:11 PM May 29th
via web
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Sometimes guys name their cars with a girl's name.
If I had a Ford Explorer, I'd name it Dora. (Like this would cause me to get laid less.)
12:50 PM May 29th
via web
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2 things I hate in this country; racial stereotypes and Asian drivers
12:15 PM May 29th
via Facebook
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Denver has a new archbishop, so heads up area McDonald's employees.
11:51 AM May 29th
via web
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The pole she dances around is a citizen from Poland.
8:56 AM May 29th
via web
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@ Um...confusing?
8:37 AM May 29th
via web
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Damn, they have huge birds in Texas! RT @: Gunman Atop Crane Falls To Death After Daylong Standoff...
8:28 AM May 29th
via TweetCaster for Android
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- Name Jimi Mack
- Location Denver
- Bio Texan in Denver. Comic, musician, writer, into guitars and Pug dogs. Will marry the first woman who is impressed by any of this.
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