jillprovost
@awryone The New York Times will one day report that Nader is and always has been a raging closet Republican.
| @mcshowoff There's nothing better than defiling your own digits. |
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| @mcshowoff I thought the question in Chicago was where can't you get crack? |
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| I just told my editor I would go to a female ejaculation workshop if she wanted me to. I'm pretty sure that constitutes whoring myself out. |
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| Luckily, she said she couldn't assign it to someone she actually knows. |
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| @mcshowoff Thank god you've plenty to spare. |
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| Double vision and heart palpitations almost take the fun out of coffee. |
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| @mcshowoff Man forced to live in airport. Sounds like the plot of a bad movie. Oh, wait. It is. |
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| Is this the gene pool I might be dipping in to if I have kids? Note to self: double up on condoms. |
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| It's shocking, just SHOCKING, that it didn't pan out. Luckily, sister has a plan C: ask parents for money. |
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| How not to live your life: Quit teaching to become a pyramid scheme victim... I mean, millionaire. |
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| Watching Gear. Host: bald guy. Is this your show? |
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| Right now it is raining on somebody's parade. |
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| I refuse to leave. |
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| Stop sending gadget porn to my boyfriend. |
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| Are you flirting with Buddhist monks again? |
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| Mmm, nothing like lurid crime details to work up an appetite. |
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| Pardon. It's called Greyhound Death Bus. |
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| I too am on an adrenaline-inducing ride. It's called Ge |
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| Please someone turn off the Counting Crows. I can feel the post traumatic stress disorder setting in. |
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