jessicajconrad
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@ And it's never been the same. Except when you come visit, then it's a little bit the same.
6:50 PM Dec 18th
from web
in reply to Christie2t
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Avatar was good, like a 300 million dollar CGI Fern Gully, which I've been wondering when they were gonna do.
6:33 AM Dec 18th
from web
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Stanley Tucci in The Lovely Bones looks undeniably like a Will Forte character.
7:11 PM Dec 17th
from web
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Where did all these bruises come from? My legs are one cigarette burn away from cheap prostie status.
7:18 AM Dec 17th
from web
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The bible says homosexuality is an “abomination,” but that probably used to be slang in bible times, like “fierce” or “bitchin.’”
6:56 PM Dec 14th
from web
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Jonathan Taylor Thomas totally had the potential to be our generation's Christian Slater, but fucked it up BIG TIME.
5:49 PM Dec 14th
from web
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@ Well thank you. You just as a person delight me, so we're even.
2:03 PM Dec 14th
from web
in reply to jennydonoghue
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Need a haircut, looking like a FLDS cult lady. Don't want to give the idea you can marry me off at age 12. Or that I'd share my old dude.
8:55 AM Dec 14th
from web
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I've never been more confused about anything than I am about whether or not Robert Pattinson is attractive.
7:56 PM Dec 13th
from web
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RT @: Did you buy your ticket to Cocktails For Camden yet?! its next Monday!! go to: only $35!
4:01 PM Dec 13th
from TweetDeck
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That's the 3rd girl I've heard say "O.M.G" outloud. Like, the letters. One said "OMG.com." You've officially jumped the shark as a person.
11:49 AM Dec 12th
from web
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@ Of course I'm complimented to hear you're thinking about me. I thought of u this morning when I put on a Tuite-esque dress.
9:41 AM Dec 12th
from TweetDeck
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@ I meant to say earlier that I heart you too. I really mean that.
6:22 PM Dec 11th
from web
in reply to Christie2t
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Every day around 4 I brave the downstairs of Rockefeller Center for coffee or Red Bull. Expect tweets following to be the RAGIEST JFDK;AJEDK
1:26 PM Dec 11th
from web
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The Duggar's just had their 19th kid. I guarantee you are making God rethink his stance on condoms you fucking gross maniacs.
11:36 AM Dec 11th
from web
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I do not envy girl at gym whose job it is to tell old ladies they can't wear jeans on treadmills. Old ladies do not wanna be hearin' that!
7:10 AM Dec 11th
from web
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"Patrick Dempsey is cool I guess." -Kristin Conrad
1:45 PM Dec 10th
from web
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Want to enjoy the Avatar commercial but watching a paralyzed dude hoist his legs into a tanning bed puts me off. Feels like a fetish thing.
9:24 PM Dec 9th
from web
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Got sent an "It's Complicated" screener, who wants to jump-start menopause with me??
5:28 PM Dec 9th
from web
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Non-tourists should be able to walk through people. Non-tourists who work in midtown should be able to fly.
2:47 PM Dec 9th
from web
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- Name Jessica Conrad
- Location NYC
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