jessicabenner
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It's been so long since I've set my alarm that I forgot how to use the Leave-Me-the-Fuck-Alone setting.
about 18 hours ago
from Echofon
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When is someone going to throw a flag on that fucking Fox NFL robot for showboating?
11:13 AM Nov 29th
from web
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Insanely full, and yet already thinking about which leftovers to eat tomorrow morning with a poached egg on top.
9:36 PM Nov 26th
from web
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Who IS working for the working man? What a thought-provoking question, Mr. Jovi. Good to see you're keepin it real.
10:52 AM Nov 25th
from web
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Joey Greco and his soul patch are on Maury Povich!!!!!! To think I almost went to work today!
10:04 AM Nov 25th
from web
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@ Look at you, experimenting beforehand instead of just using your family as guinea pigs like I plan on doing. Showoff.
7:23 PM Nov 23rd
from web
in reply to strawysuz
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MMJ being featured on American Dad makes me feel even dirtier than the fact that they're on Dave Matthews' record label. CAN YOU IMAGINE?
9:43 PM Nov 22nd
from web
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Protip: avoid westbound Bay Bridge right now, unless you're really into fire trucks.
5:07 PM Nov 22nd
from Echofon
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@ Art's Automotive. I think that's Art.
11:58 AM Nov 20th
from web
in reply to ezoehunt
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- Engarde, you cozy fucker.
6:25 PM Nov 19th
from TwitPic
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Barnes and Nobles.
3:45 PM Nov 19th
from web
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Just dropped my car off at the mechanic and now feel thoroughly disapproved of.
9:16 AM Nov 19th
from web
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America's Next Top Model: you are dead to me.
8:58 PM Nov 18th
from web
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I know it's confusing, but cubicles are not walls. So please stop shouting outside of mine. I'm trying to read the Internet.
4:07 PM Nov 18th
from web
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Heather Locklear should have practiced talking with her new mouth for a few more hours before debuting it on TV.
9:32 PM Nov 17th
from web
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An average trip to Urban Outfitters is about 2 hours for me. So I guess I shouldn't go on my lunch break.
1:04 PM Nov 17th
from web
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Letterman just used the word “expository,” and the audience cracked up. I fear that it was because they think he said “suppository.”
11:58 PM Nov 16th
from web
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@ Outtakes? Like bloopers? Like Chris Hansen pops out and says, "I'm Zac Hansen, have a sea—aw shit!"
9:39 PM Nov 15th
from web
in reply to bethspotswood
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Just read Mary Worth, then checked what time Lawrence Welk is on. Maybe next I’ll have some prune juice and listen to the phonograph.
11:54 AM Nov 15th
from web
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I seem to have accidentally gone on an all-pizza diet.
10:46 PM Nov 14th
from web
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