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jerslater

  1. When I hit 200 followers, I'm going to cage-fight an entire family of otters. To make things fair, I will be heavily armed. about 12 hours ago from web
  2. Your homework assignment for the day: Tom Edison's Shaggy Dog by Vonnegut. Maybe my favorite short story. about 19 hours ago from web
  3. In related news, the reporter said they were now changing the name of the special to HO-HO-HOMO. about 21 hours ago from web
  4. Not really. I bought cat food and conditioner. about 21 hours ago from web
  5. Camera crew decided I was a "typical holiday shopper" and started following me around Target. I bought some Magnum condoms. about 21 hours ago from web
  6. Oh my God, Brawndo and pot are a terrible combination! 11:58 PM Nov 21st from TwitterBerry
  7. Oh my God, Brawndo is terrible! 11:45 PM Nov 21st from TwitterBerry
  8. Oh my God, I'm drinking Brawndo! 11:44 PM Nov 21st from TwitterBerry
  9. Every time I make fun of Twilight on Twitter, I lose a dozen followers. A dozen lumpy, moon-faced, unfuckable followers. 11:30 AM Nov 20th from web
  10. Fun with editing: If you're writing the sentence "Lucas blows past him," don't forget the word "past." Trust me on this. 6:06 PM Nov 19th from web
  11. RT @RioVegas Just 966 folks away from giving away 80 2-night stays! Follow us and tweet w/tag #RioVegas for a chance to win. 11:39 AM Nov 19th from web
  12. RT @mrbeaks: A little love for Academy Award-winner Roger Corman. http://tinyurl.com/yghm8ft 1:01 AM Nov 18th from web
  13. I just accidentally said MEATY WITH A CHANCE OF CLOUDBALLS. My brain is clearly eating itself. 8:44 PM Nov 16th from web
  14. Yeah. It's called Asperger's. RT @bdgrabinski Is there are a reason Herc wrote down every little thing they say in the STAR TREK commentary? 4:53 PM Nov 15th from web
  15. Oh, pontificating movie nerd. You make me wish my ears were full of bees. 11:48 PM Nov 14th from TwitterBerry
  16. Theater usher tells me that my PRECIOUS drinking game is inappropriate. Also that's it's not a game if I'm the only one playing. 2:37 PM Nov 14th from web
  17. RT @daneckman Big reminder: "Mystery Team" opens tonight in PHX. Harkins Valley Art on Mill. DERRICK live every night all weekend. 5:58 PM Nov 13th from web
  18. Emmerich, you mad bastard. Don't ever change. 3:14 AM Nov 13th from TwitterBerry
  19. In honor of tonight's movie, I am going to drink 2,012 beers. 10:15 PM Nov 12th from TwitterBerry
  20. Wolf spider the size of a baby mouse crawling for my head. Because some days your pants just don't have enough poop in them. 5:50 PM Nov 12th from web