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jerkomatic

  1. THE TERM "HEARTBURN" IS A MISNOMER 7:15 AM Oct 22nd from API
  2. I FOUND A LIZARD SQUISHED BETWEEN TWO PIECES OF PLYWOOD TODAY 7:56 AM Oct 20th from API
  3. 4. I AM TOTALLY INCAPABLE OF GETTING AN ERECTION 8:12 AM Oct 13th from API
  4. LET'S HEAR IT FOR APPLESCRIPT 7:42 AM Sep 23rd from API
  5. I WISH TO REPORT AN UNLICKED DICK IN THE NORTHWEST CORNER OF MY PANTS !!! 9:54 AM Sep 11th from API
  6. SHOWING ME ABOUT LIFE COMMA LOVE SEMICOLON PAIN EXCLAMATION POINT 8:19 AM Sep 3rd from API
  7. I WANT YOU TO PUT YOUR MOUTH ON MY BALLS AND HUM 8:44 AM Aug 29th from API
  8. I FIND IT HARD TO BELIEVE THIS IS ALL FOR SOME PISSCAM PROJECT BUT I'M TRYING HARD TO HOLD STEADY 8:39 AM Aug 27th from API
  9. THIS URINE STAIN REALLY TIES THE ROOM TOGETHER 7:46 AM Aug 23rd from API
  10. FREE RANGE COCKSUCKERS ?????????????????? 8:09 AM Aug 22nd from API
  11. HUGGIN' THE BOWL (CBS THIS FALL) 7:44 AM Aug 21st from API
  12. APPARENTLY I CANNOT CHARGE MALE ESCORTS TO MY LIBRARY CARD 7:21 AM Aug 20th from API
  13. WE ALL LICK DICKS DON'T WE 7:20 AM Aug 19th from API
  14. COULD I HAVE PICKED A STICKIER, MORE SWEET-SMELLING DRINK TO SPILL ALL OVER CREATION HERE 8:44 AM Aug 18th from API
  15. I TOOK AN OATH TO ROAM NEAR AND FAR, LICKING DICKS 7:24 AM Aug 17th from API
  16. I'M A LIMPWRITHTED JEDI MATHTER UTHING THE FORTH 8:13 AM Aug 16th from API
  17. IT IS SCHRODINGER'S PIZZA AND IS NEITHER IN YOUR APARTMENT NOR OUT OF IT AND YET BOTH AT THE SAME TIME 9:46 AM Aug 15th from API
  18. NOBODY LIKES A QUITTER (IN CURSIVE: 2UITTER) 9:31 AM Aug 14th from API
  19. APPARENTLY I CANNOT CHARGE MALE ESCORTS TO MY LIBRARY CARD 8:13 AM Aug 13th from API
  20. THE STAFF HAS BEEN BUILDING ELABORATE LEGO MINDSTORM PROJECTS AND EATING THEM 10:07 AM Aug 12th from API