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jenniakemi
Please. Don't leave me alone with a hardening bowl of hummus on my lap and a limp balloon.8:06 PM Jun 3rdfrom web
Incredible Edible Thighs for sale! Half price if you take the pair.6:21 PM May 27thfrom web
If I had a 24k gold macaroni necklace,I wouldn't even sell it to Cash4Gold to buy groceries,I'd keep it and wear it every day with a leotard11:17 AM Apr 5thfrom web
Me & Cheap Mondays are like Sid & Nancy: separately we're dangerously lovely, but together we look like a pear took a dump in a used nylon.2:18 PM Mar 22ndfrom web
Drinking orange juice like my grandpa drank sake... big swigs from an economy-sized plastic jug.10:43 AM Mar 21stfrom web
Benadryl: like heroin, but pink for the ladiezzzzzzzzzzzz...11:03 PM Mar 14thfrom web
Getting ready to plant some gay literature on my boyfriend's coffee table. Then I think I'll buy a button making machine!4:51 PM Mar 12thfrom web
Before each meal, ask WWBD: What Would a Ballerina Do? Then I ate vodka and a bowl of dry lettuce for breakfast.7:38 AM Mar 12thfrom fb2twitter
wishes she had a time machine so she could go back in time and murder the person who invented time.8:58 AM Mar 6thfrom fb2twitter
