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jeffehobbs

  1. Is today the day? Is today the day I try ... "Chicken in a Biskit" crackers?!? UPDATE: no
  2. So tired of the telltale nosebleed that occurs every time I use my powerful psychic abilities
  3. The four little words that put a pitter-pat in the heart of every businessman: "Put Me On Speaker"
  4. Vince Guaraldi wins at moustache time, every time
  5. Every time we go in the bathroom wearing socks, we risk getting wet sock feet, AND IF ELECTED, I WILL BRING AN END TO WET SOCK BATHROOM FEET
  6. Pandora is like a friend who, after you tell them you're not crazy for The Decemberists, calmly puts on a Decemberists LP and stares at you
  7. Wish we could have just one Thanksgiving dinner without Uncle Jimmy going on + on about his erotic dreams starring the Progressive Auto lady
  8. I believe America's decline can be directly traced to the first time someone eschewed 'soap' in favor of 'body wash'
  9. Early adopters always get screwed, I'm holding out for H1N2
  10. Early morning coffee and Bill Evans, 'Complete Village Vanguard Recordings, 1961' http://bit.ly/7samTY
  11. The sad thing about trying to lose weight is that all of a sudden, Flintstones vitamins became the most delicious item in the entire house
  12. Google Chrome OS is operating system as video game console -- still, I'm totally in
  13. Now Celebrating Our 200th Consecutive Dentist Visit Where We Pretend Like We Floss Every Night (But We Don't Floss Every Night)
  14. My mouth looks like the elevator in 'The Shining'
  15. Parents: they always get you close to what you wanted, but not quite. For example, this year I wanted telekinesis but got pyrokinesis
  16. I'm almost at the third and most difficult level of these Pepperidge Farm Chessmen Cookies
  17. Today the entree special will be "Baked Alaska with Light Cream Sauce" and the saxophone solo will be "Careless Whisper"
  18. I'm like one of those sexy teens from Twilight except instead of turning into a vampire I eat too much pizza and turn into a blubbering mess
  19. Sometimes I wish men could have babies together just so John Meyer and Jack Johnson could create the most mediocre child in history
  20. Hey, what do you know, I blogged something! wooo http://bit.ly/1EBQgz