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jcbx

  1. You can't yell at the birds for chirping when you're tweeting the whole time.
  2. Lets not get personal and put our hands on each other. Lets just rub our thighs and genitals together..
  3. I outtwonamed @twoname today.
  4. I was all pissed at the horrible music I had to listen to on hold and 2 minutes later realized it was our national anthem.
  5. Is reading a book while driving illegal?
  6. The world is coming to n end. My goals for the next year are get married, buy a house, and have two kids.
  7. Bra sizes are like grades.. just backwards.
  8. I think I'm gonna start running again!
  9. YES!
  10. Beard size is directly related to dick size. FYI.
  11. Any little girl dog would be after him! I've never seen a chihuahua with a 3 in. lipstick! and he's been humping this leopard pillow 4 an hr
  12. My mom just told she's becoming an "internet mom." She went on the internet by herself for the first time 3 days ago.
  13. Just got butt raped by my own cigarette. It sat on the ledge of my window, jumped back in the car and straight into my ass crack.
  14. I dont know why God didnt heal my arm.. I sincerely asked for him to make it unimaginably strong so I could be a champion tennis player!
  15. Hot topics at Bible study tonight: giving fears and anxieties over to God, how rich NJ is compared to the world, & butt licking.
  16. My parents are going to Florida. I can finally have my naked twister rave party!
  17. Awkward moment of the day: trimming dads thick curly chest hair. If I think hard enough maybe I can change the memory into shearing a sheep.
  18. "So if my girlfriend has crabs can they bite my tongue?" -10th grade student
  19. I'm only half bulemic. I can't get past the binge part.
  20. I have good memories of being in the trunk of a car. I dont want to ruin it by getting in there with you.