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jasonsaid

  1. getting his pants caught on a drawer handle - I just about tore off my wiener. http://ow.ly/163YwT 11 minutes ago from HootSuite
  2. in the kitchen - Are you mad at me? Are you pretending to be mad at me? But you cant because Im 100 kinds of adorab... http://ow.ly/163YwS 11 minutes ago from HootSuite
  3. about why the mailman didnt want to make small talk - Its because youre Chinese. No one wants to talk to the Chines... http://ow.ly/163hJv 6:21 PM Nov 20th from HootSuite
  4. eating dinner - I think the girl next to me just farted. http://ow.ly/161FhM 10:21 AM Nov 14th from HootSuite
  5. speculating on the upstairs noise from older Chinese ladys condo http://ow.ly/160js4 2:20 PM Nov 8th from HootSuite
  6. reading the news - Rue McClanahan had heart bypass surgery this weekend. Were almost out of Golden Girls! http://ow.ly/1608iA 11:20 AM Nov 7th from HootSuite
  7. listening to me tell a joke - Thats the least funny thing Ive ever heard. Wow, journalists are not funny. http://ow.ly/15ZxHq 9:20 PM Nov 4th from HootSuite
  8. shuffling around the house - Its a lot of work to pick up my feet. http://ow.ly/15ZxHp 9:20 PM Nov 4th from HootSuite
  9. about shared bingo daubers - These are totally H1N1 carriers. http://ow.ly/15XMfV 9:20 PM Oct 27th from HootSuite
  10. about why we dont snowboard - Im brittle and old. Youre almost brittle and old. http://ow.ly/15XMfU 9:20 PM Oct 27th from HootSuite
  11. telling me Im lucky someone married me - Not even your mom says youre a catch. http://ow.ly/15X3Gg 9:21 AM Oct 24th from HootSuite
  12. at 10:37 p.m. - Im exhausted! Its late. http://ow.ly/15X07T 11:21 PM Oct 23rd from HootSuite
  13. after I said I threw away an ugly bamboo plant - Youre ugly and I keep you. http://ow.ly/15WLnr 9:31 PM Oct 22nd from HootSuite
  14. not watching Greys Anatomy with me - Theyre going to get married on the show. Its going to be touching. http://ow.ly/15Upzk 10:47 AM Oct 12th from HootSuite
  15. having coffee - I saw judgment in your eyes. Thats all I know. http://ow.ly/15Upzj 10:47 AM Oct 12th from HootSuite
  16. still talking - Thats a compliment. Relic was awesome. http://ow.ly/15TTW9 9:47 AM Oct 9th from HootSuite
  17. talking about how I make friends - I dont get it. How can anyone find you likable, with your rough and tumble exter... http://ow.ly/15TTW8 9:47 AM Oct 9th from HootSuite
  18. watching a one-handed dancer on TV walking away with her boyfriend http://ow.ly/15SGpB 10:45 AM Oct 3rd from HootSuite
  19. muttering to a car blocking the intersection - Move it, bunghole. http://ow.ly/15RuDv 6:40 PM Sep 27th from HootSuite
  20. being positive - This is 100 per cent your fault. I was never like this, all positive and shit. http://ow.ly/15RtxQ 5:43 PM Sep 27th from HootSuite