jane_bot
-
Uh oh. The Wedding Singer is on tv & it's forcing me to recite every single word. Change the channel.
No don't. Yes do. No.
Send help.
about 1 hour ago
from txt
-
Coworker just introduced me to a business colleague as, "This is Jane. She...well....she does everything."
I SO OWN HIM NOW.
about 4 hours ago
from TweetDeck
-
I'm so sweet; I'll give you a tooth ache. Ok. You got me. By "so sweet" I really mean "equipped with a pretty pair of pliers. Open wide!"
about 5 hours ago
from TweetDeck
-
You must all think I'm physically & emotionally incapable of being nice. Well. You're wrong.
I can't 'think' nice either.
about 5 hours ago
from TweetDeck
-
Would you kiss your mugger with that mouth?
GIVE ME YOUR WALLET MOTHERFUCKER. Oh and I'll take my kiss now.
about 5 hours ago
from TweetDeck
-
Uh oh. I have a thought infection. and its contagious. Guess the stupids will be safe. You smarter folk will be my victims.
about 6 hours ago
from TweetDeck
-
Sorry I told you lyes.
Eh. It's just a little chemical burn, scarring & blindness. At least you didn't eat my 'surprise cake' recipe.
about 8 hours ago
from TweetDeck
-
I like it cuffed.
I could have said rough but that just lacks originality and challenge for escape.
about 8 hours ago
from TweetDeck
-
It's not my fault electrician left 4 beautiful 'ready to be played w/' fluorescent light tubes in my office...asking to be twirled & broken.
about 8 hours ago
from TweetDeck
-
"Oh. If I call you a whore it's not because I don't like you. It's because your vagina is a tramp. Get a leash for that thing."
about 9 hours ago
from TweetDeck
-
Let's start a flight.
You steal the keys to the airplane.
about 9 hours ago
from TweetDeck
-
- Ooops. My paperclip heart is showing.
about 9 hours ago
from TwitPic
-
"Watch out for this girl, she's got a gun for a tongue." ♫
about 10 hours ago
from Blip.fm
-
I see dated office equipment.
about 11 hours ago
from TweetDeck
-
My bed is giving me a full body hug..with groping.
It's a lover...not a fighter.
about 19 hours ago
from txt
-
Guilt doesn't take a night off from the gym. That responsible fuck.
about 23 hours ago
from TweetDeck
-
There’s nothing I would say behind your back that I wouldn't say to your face...or spray paint on your house w/added racial slurs, oh buddy.
3:00 PM Dec 14th
from TweetDeck
-
Mailmen don't appreciate when you sneak into the back of their little cars. Or jump at them from under stacks of mail, screaming "MAIL ME!"
2:02 PM Dec 14th
from TweetDeck
-
Bluetooth allows coworker to talk on his office phone while walking around. My foot allows me to trip him while he's walking around talking.
1:29 PM Dec 14th
from TweetDeck
-
I just sighed so hard, the air got a boner.
1:07 PM Dec 14th
from TweetDeck
|
- Name Jane
- Location in yo face
- Web http://janebot.tu...
- Bio I'm sorry if I offend you. For those that I don't, I will try a little harder.
|
