jamesmalach
-
Colonic irrigation now over and I've handed over £58.75 for the 'pleasure'. Second time I've been shafted in the last 60 minutes!
3:35 AM Nov 25th
from Tweetie
-
Nearly at the end of my colonic irrigation session. The muscles in my jaw are in agony from clenching my teeth for so long.
3:19 AM Nov 25th
from Tweetie
-
Colonic practitioner commenting on my 'furrowed brow' and asking if I suffer from stress. Nothing to do with the pipe up my arse then?!
3:07 AM Nov 25th
from Tweetie
-
And here comes the coffee enema... I am now, quite literally, full of beans!
3:00 AM Nov 25th
from Tweetie
-
Convinced I just saw a £2 coin floating down the colonic tube. One can only assume that this is my dinner money.
2:57 AM Nov 25th
from Tweetie
-
Over shock of having colonic tube inserted up arse. Now watching contents of stomach go past like some sort of scatalogical Generation Game!
2:52 AM Nov 25th
from Tweetie
-
At the colonic irrigation practitioner. She is brandishing plastic tubing and KY Jell... AAAARGH! SWEET JESUS!
2:41 AM Nov 25th
from Tweetie
-
Fiancée called me from beauty salon to tell me of their '3 for 2' eyebrow waxing offer. Forgive me for stating the bleedin' obvious, but...
2:14 AM Nov 24th
from web
-
Hoping my shivers are those of excitement for tonight's 750 sellout show at the British Library and not related to my chronic influenza.
8:05 AM Nov 20th
from Tweetie
-
Posed for photo with horse, but it side-snacked my arm and now my bicep has goofy, yet painful horse teeth marks in it.
5:09 AM Nov 16th
from Tweetie
-
Being sat constantly downwind of a horses bottom is somewhat curtailing my enjoyment of quirky Amsterdam city architecture.
4:50 AM Nov 16th
from Tweetie
-
Driving round the old city of Amsterdam in the back of an old horse and cart with Elvis whilst enjoying effects of large naughty cigarette.
4:28 AM Nov 16th
from Tweetie
-
Finished looking round Van Gogh museum. Come to the conclusion that he had a fixation with potatoes.
9:20 AM Nov 15th
from Tweetie
-
Still in Amsterdam. Just learned how the Van Gogh museum & the Van Koff museum cater for distinctly different clientelle demographics.
4:47 AM Nov 15th
from web
-
Just wandered into the gents toilets at Wasteland and there is a line of men standing at the urinals who ALL look like Right Said Fred!
3:29 PM Nov 14th
from Tweetie
-
Noticed that between arse powder angel wings, there is little wrinkly glitter halo. Undeniable proof of God's existence or need new jacket.
2:36 PM Nov 14th
from Tweetie
-
Recovered suit jacket from arse of leather chaps man. He had powdered inside of his trousers as my jacket now has white angel wings on back.
2:00 PM Nov 14th
from Tweetie
-
Still backstage @ Wasteland, Amsterdam. Moustachioed blond Dutchman wearing shiny black leather arseless chaps is sitting on my suit jacket.
1:33 PM Nov 14th
from Tweetie
-
Backstage pre-show @ 4000 capacity Wasteland, Amsterdam. Sharing dressing room with band called 'Kinky Space F*ck'. Need munchies. Pringles.
1:12 PM Nov 14th
from Tweetie
-
Now totally suffering from 'Amsterdam Flu'. Same symptoms as normal flu, but the hallucinatory pink elephants are somehow more terrifying.
4:10 AM Nov 14th
from web
|
- Name James Malach
- Location London
- Web http://ministryof...
- Bio Lactated milky irreverence from caffeine-addled brain udders.
|
