jamesdig
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@ It's worth taking a look at him. You'd guess he was mid-fifties, but when he shot that film he was 47.
about 7 hours ago
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#3 Though there was no situation Jordan couldn't text her way out of, this room full of half-eaten toasters would be a challenge.
about 11 hours ago
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#2: When the cell phone tower exploded, Stan and Edith laughed and danced and clapped their hands.
about 11 hours ago
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First lines from non-existent novels #1: I wonder what's in my mouth, thought Sandra as the boat headed over the waterfall.
about 11 hours ago
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Just saw "Up In The Air." George Clooney may be the only person left on earth who looks older than he actually is.
about 17 hours ago
from mobile web
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There are a lot of stars in the sky, but not so many as to cause a problem.
10:42 PM Dec 12th
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What if they gave a war and everybody came and they all killed each other and there was no one left to write cute slogans for protest signs?
8:39 AM Dec 7th
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NY City is a factory that turns snow into a blackened slush that clings to your shoes and pets and dreams.
6:33 AM Dec 7th
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I wish I could have that thing I wanted when I was 5, along with the amount and duration of pleasure I mistakenly thought it would bring me.
12:25 PM Dec 5th
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If I ever met a version of me from a different dimension, first I'd fight me, then I'd team up with me to defeat a threat to the multiverse.
11:16 AM Dec 5th
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I was in an 8-hour meeting today, just as Jesus intended. (He had have power meetings with the disciples to discuss budget and personnel.)
7:42 PM Dec 4th
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My brain is made of meat. Most of my head is made of meat.
7:43 PM Dec 2nd
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If the Antchrist comes we'll all be forced to celebrate Antichristmas.
8:33 AM Nov 30th
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To quote Andrew Sullivan: "The Swiss banned minarets...Why not synagogues? Or did a neighboring country try that already?"
8:02 PM Nov 29th
from web
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The adjective "whorish" is underused in descriptions of geological formations.
1:20 PM Nov 25th
from mobile web
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A great superpower would be the ability to pass legislation, because, like, if you wanted more cookies? Just pass a cookie law.
6:34 AM Nov 24th
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It'd be funny if Sarah Palin was elected president and then she revealed that she's actually Carrot Top. Wait, that could be real.
7:22 PM Nov 23rd
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We've seen a lot more naked people than our medieval ancestors, but they probably had more crossbows than we do.
7:20 PM Nov 23rd
from mobile web
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I don't understand why we let elephants smoke marijuana but we imprison people for setting fire to tacos.
3:42 PM Nov 23rd
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I'm getting a tattoo that says "When you drink in front of the children, it damages my capacity to love you."
8:50 PM Nov 22nd
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