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Its_Death

  1. RT if you remember when Twitter wasn't full of people asking you to RT if you remember things. about 11 hours ago via TweetList Pro
  2. @NotoriousREV You'll want our infernal legal department. Or, as I call them, the legal department. 10:03 AM May 30th via TweetList Pro in reply to NotoriousREV
  3. "You're through to Death. Sorry I can't take your soul right now, but if you leave your name & number after the tone I'll get back to you" 9:47 AM May 30th via TweetList Pro
  4. Why doesn't humanity have a system in place where you can phone your boss & say "I can't come in today. It's all just too awesome"? 4:51 AM May 28th via TweetList Pro
  5. I am Death warmed up. You can say what you like about Hell, but at least it's a dry heat. 3:05 AM May 27th via TweetList Pro
  6. The sun is out. British people are throwing rocks at it. 8:46 AM May 23rd via TweetList Pro
  7. Details are sketchy but there *may* be some weather occurring in Britain. 6:54 AM May 22nd via TweetList Pro
  8. Let's grab Monday by the balls, make it cough twice & then send it home with a note for its mother (I'm not great with pep talks. Sorry.) 1:29 AM May 21st via TweetList Pro
  9. Stock Market jittery as someone changes their Facebook status from "in a relationship" to "it's complicated". 7:43 AM May 18th via web
  10. The Nazis invented the Olympic torch relay. They toured Europe with it in 1936. Then probably thought "Well, that's all got to go". 1:19 AM May 18th via TweetList Pro
  11. The England football squad has been announced. Remember lads. It's not the winning, but the sex on piles of cash that counts. 12:08 PM May 16th via TweetList Pro
  12. I've just seen a Freudian slip. He fell over a penis peel. I mean *banana* peel. 6:31 AM May 15th via TweetList Pro
  13. The most talented creature in Britain is a dog? Who dances? That's your crowning cultural & artistic achievement? *Slow handclap* 6:04 AM May 13th via TweetList Pro
  14. "It's raining men! Hallel-Oh God! It's horrible! There are limbs and organs everywhere!" 3:37 AM May 12th via TweetList Pro
  15. "It's Please-Don't-Explode-Me-Evil-Overlords-Day. Gotta get down on Please-Don't-Explode-Me-Evil-Overlords-Day" 8:51 AM May 11th via TweetList Pro
  16. As Friday has been sold to an alien race of unspeakable horror, it's now "Please-Don't-Explode-Me-Evil-Overlords-Day". 8:50 AM May 11th via TweetList Pro
  17. News International Job Application Form: "Would you describe your memory as a) ☐ Good b) ☐ Bad c) ☒ What was the question?" 7:03 AM May 11th via TweetList Pro
  18. David Cameron likes this - Apple have updated the iPhone keyboard to reflect modern punctuation. twitpic.com/9jjlh7 4:29 AM May 11th via TweetList Pro
  19. @obnoxiousgeek Ha! 1:24 AM May 11th via TweetList Pro in reply to obnoxiousgeek
  • Name Steve Death
  • Location Just over your shoulder. Boo!
  • Web http://thedeathgu...
  • Bio Live with 3 other guys. We like horses. Near Death Experience: death@thedeathguidetolife.com
112 Following 24,280 Followers 560 Listed
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