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indyjones

  1. I fell into a time portal, only to dig up an ancient porn webcam where I'd starred as "Indiana Boner." Funny. It's dated for next week. 2:08 PM Aug 10th from web
  2. I was digging in my backyard and found the "Talisman of the Universal Health Plan." I gave it to those "Exorcist" filmmakers. 2:04 PM Aug 10th from web
  3. "..enough to make you want to throw on your Indiana Jones’ fedora and leap into action.." Read: http://tinyurl.com/myxl9w <-- Hey! 1:31 AM Aug 2nd from web
  4. I tried bowling. I tried tennis and golf too. Can't stand them. Nothing beats racing a Nazi to a golden idol. Now that's a sport! 10:53 PM Jun 28th from web
  5. I hate that my kid jumped ship for a movie about car parts. 2:15 PM Jun 24th from web
  6. I try to stay away from Disneyland on account I get lost inside the ride. @chingpea and @ninarevenant can drive my jeep. I'll surf the hood 2:19 PM Jun 23rd from web
  7. No, it's not a man bag. 7:36 AM Jun 9th from web
  8. Sure my first girlfriend stole my leather jacket. Luckily not my whip. That was attached. 10:27 PM Jun 8th from web
  9. I was at an archaeological dig in upstate NY when we dug up what we thought was an old hot dog. I can't help that Short Round took a bite. 12:15 AM Jun 8th from web
  10. The problem with wanting to be me @nickbelardes is you have to have been Han Solo first. Gotta start somewhere. 3:37 PM Jun 5th from web
  11. "It's beer," Short Round said. What does he know? The fool. I took them to a museum. 2:11 PM May 28th from web
  12. And then I found six of them, tied together. There was something inside. This was quite a find. I shook one madly! 2:09 PM May 28th from web
  13. Walking at the edge of the Caspian Sea I found a silver talisman in the shape of an oval. Nearby, a hollow metal cylinder and brown liquid. 2:08 PM May 28th from web
  14. You can't put a tux on @oildaletrash But give him a leather jacket and a whip and he can be my stunt double for homeless flashback scenes. 8:07 PM May 27th from web
  15. The third whip I ever touched I accidentally knocked the eye out of a Marikesh belly dancer. She could still shake it thank god. 7:57 PM May 26th from web
  16. I don't ever go to the bathroom in my movies because of my leather colostomy bag. 6:54 PM May 26th from web
  17. When I first heard rock n roll I thought, "Nazis. I hate these guys!" Boy was I wrong. Most don't know my brief stint in Indy and the Idols. 9:35 AM May 19th from web
  18. First line of my next movie: "I shot the chief and stole his magical gold nose ring. So what? You wanna try and take my whip?" 9:45 PM Apr 12th from web
  19. Sure I told Mutt the Cross of Coronado is my bling, not his. He can go play with his transformers. 8:51 PM Apr 6th from web
  20. The first time I whistled my theme song to @darthvader he breathed heavy and said, "You look familiar." 12:38 PM Mar 20th from web