ihatemommyblogs
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I warmed up the turkey flavored Fancy Feast along with all the juices. The cats and I had a fantastic meal!
about 24 hours ago
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@ What time I come over depends on how long you've let that shit grow. Is it past your knees yet? Maybe 7am.
4:14 PM Nov 25th
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About to stuff the Turdicken. It's just as messy as it sounds.
2:45 PM Nov 25th
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@ No wonder you have so many kids.
2:42 PM Nov 25th
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My fingers smell like musty vagina, but I can't figure out why because I make my assistant do all of my wiping and masturbating for me.
2:39 PM Nov 25th
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RT @ I have nothing against breastfeeding, but if I wanted to see your large pancake nipples, I would look in the mirror.
7:56 PM Nov 24th
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I just ate 12 cookies in one sitting and my mom called me from 400 miles away because she heard me gaining weight.
7:15 PM Nov 24th
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This Thxgiving, I'm going to make an appearance at the local soup kitchen. The food aint half bad and there's plenty of people selling meth!
1:48 PM Nov 24th
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@ Easy. One of each. Next question.
1:45 PM Nov 24th
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in reply to BKLYNRob
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I wish there was enough vodka in this world to make shopping at Wal Mart tolerable. I start dry heaving as soon as I pull into the pkg lot.
11:37 AM Nov 24th
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@ Replace Dog with Cats and Mafia Wars with American Idol and you have my priorities!
10:22 AM Nov 24th
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@ I don't know how you people DON'T kill your offspring, because when I spend 5 minutes around them, I want to kill them.
10:19 AM Nov 24th
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Being a parent is NOT the hardest thing you'll ever do. Being a non-parent is, because waking up every day with a hangover is HARD.
9:53 AM Nov 24th
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Going to drink and drug myself into a medicated coma until the holidays are over. Plan my intervention for January 2nd. Kthxbai.
6:26 AM Nov 24th
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@ Is that how you met your hubs? So romantic.
7:15 PM Nov 23rd
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@ I tried, but my parole officer told me there's some kind of rule against felons. So I used my campaign money for weed.
6:57 PM Nov 23rd
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As far as I'm concerned, if he looks 30, talks 30, acts 30 and is a vampire, then he's really ageless and statutory rape laws don't apply.
6:51 PM Nov 23rd
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I mean seriously. Have a Twilight slumber party with a couple of nude tweenies and suddenly they treat you like Michael Jackson.
6:46 PM Nov 23rd
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Someone call me when New Poon goes to DVD. I don't like watching my kiddie porn in the theatre. The feds are watching me closely these days.
6:41 PM Nov 23rd
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@ He told me I talk in my sleep, but he didn't tell me I turn into @!
1:20 PM Nov 23rd
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- Name UrBlogSux
- Location USA
- Bio Tired of hearing about placentas, cervixes, episiotomies, potty training, and preschool? Get in line. I am, too.
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