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igotyourcrazy

  1. I got excited when I thought I saw reindeer droppings outside my door. Turns out the neighbor just forgot to pick up his dog's shit. about 17 hours ago from Tweetie
  2. It has been close to a month without cable or Internet. Throw in a bonnet and I might as well just go Amish at this point. 2:59 PM Nov 30th from Tweetie
  3. After 20 some days of no TV or internet, it has come to the point where I'd even sit down for an episode of The Hills. It's that bad. 12:49 AM Nov 29th from Tweetie
  4. I don't know what is going on next door. Either my neighbor is taking a shot at singing opera or there's a farm animal being slaughtered. 12:53 PM Nov 25th from Tweetie
  5. I taped a piece of paper with "Who cares?" to my cable-less TV. It's almost like I'm watching the finale of Dancing with the B-listers. 5:51 PM Nov 24th from Tweetie
  6. I don't think I've gone this long without cable or Internet since I had real estate in my mother's womb. 7:57 PM Nov 22nd from Tweetie
  7. Don't cry over spilled milk or salt your potatoes while lying in bed. Apparently. Excuse me while I wash off the salt I'm rolling around in. 9:08 PM Nov 15th from Tweetie
  8. It has been six days without cable. I've taken up knitting and wouldn't be surprised if I start churning my own butter. 6:12 PM Nov 15th from Tweetie
  9. I'm really excited the release of Sarah Palin's book has been moved up to Tuesday. I'm also becoming a nun. Sometimes I lie about stuff too. 1:17 AM Nov 15th from Tweetie
  10. I found nail clippers, a tampon, phone charger and 2 lighters in my handbag. Tonight's about to get wild. 6:32 PM Nov 14th from Tweetie
  11. I know you're all excited that there's water on the moon, but call me when they find Skittles or donuts. Actually don't call, text. 2:42 PM Nov 13th from Tweetie
  12. Sarah Jessica Parker alledgedly enjoys the scent of a wet diaper. Turns out her taste is just as scary as her face. 12:59 PM Nov 13th from Tweetie
  13. Life is fickle and doesn't always answer the big questions. Like, how do I make my hand stop going numb from excessive Bejeweled playing? 11:50 PM Nov 12th from Tweetie
  14. Stay classy woman ahead of me in Target who just bought the economy-size Arbor Mist bottle, stay classy. 6:23 PM Nov 12th from Tweetie
  15. My cable and Internet has been shut down. My sanity now literally lies in my own hands. My iPhone. 12:57 PM Nov 11th from Tweetie
  16. Only six more days! Better dust off my party pants. http://bit.ly/y7Dvf 11:00 PM Nov 10th from Tweetie
  17. Everytime the fire alarm goes off it stops at the exact moment I finally put clothes on. This is why I support nudist colonies. 7:23 PM Nov 10th from Tweetie
  18. My daily physical activity regimen consists of locating the remote control. Rest assured, it's rigorous. 1:30 PM Nov 10th from Tweetie
  19. I'm getting excited for this Twilight New Moon shit like I get excited for a splash of warm acid to the face. 8:01 PM Nov 9th from Tweetie
  20. So other than Sammy Sosa turning himself into a fat white woman, what else is going on? (via @sarkastickunt) 7:59 PM Nov 9th from Tweetie