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igotyourcrazy

  1. I got excited when I thought I saw reindeer droppings outside my door. Turns out the neighbor just forgot to pick up his dog's shit.
  2. It has been close to a month without cable or Internet. Throw in a bonnet and I might as well just go Amish at this point.
  3. After 20 some days of no TV or internet, it has come to the point where I'd even sit down for an episode of The Hills. It's that bad.
  4. I don't know what is going on next door. Either my neighbor is taking a shot at singing opera or there's a farm animal being slaughtered.
  5. I taped a piece of paper with "Who cares?" to my cable-less TV. It's almost like I'm watching the finale of Dancing with the B-listers.
  6. I don't think I've gone this long without cable or Internet since I had real estate in my mother's womb.
  7. Don't cry over spilled milk or salt your potatoes while lying in bed. Apparently. Excuse me while I wash off the salt I'm rolling around in.
  8. It has been six days without cable. I've taken up knitting and wouldn't be surprised if I start churning my own butter.
  9. I'm really excited the release of Sarah Palin's book has been moved up to Tuesday. I'm also becoming a nun. Sometimes I lie about stuff too.
  10. I found nail clippers, a tampon, phone charger and 2 lighters in my handbag. Tonight's about to get wild.
  11. I know you're all excited that there's water on the moon, but call me when they find Skittles or donuts. Actually don't call, text.
  12. Sarah Jessica Parker alledgedly enjoys the scent of a wet diaper. Turns out her taste is just as scary as her face.
  13. Life is fickle and doesn't always answer the big questions. Like, how do I make my hand stop going numb from excessive Bejeweled playing?
  14. Stay classy woman ahead of me in Target who just bought the economy-size Arbor Mist bottle, stay classy.
  15. My cable and Internet has been shut down. My sanity now literally lies in my own hands. My iPhone.
  16. Only six more days! Better dust off my party pants. http://bit.ly/y7Dvf
  17. Everytime the fire alarm goes off it stops at the exact moment I finally put clothes on. This is why I support nudist colonies.
  18. My daily physical activity regimen consists of locating the remote control. Rest assured, it's rigorous.
  19. I'm getting excited for this Twilight New Moon shit like I get excited for a splash of warm acid to the face.
  20. So other than Sammy Sosa turning himself into a fat white woman, what else is going on? (via @sarkastickunt)