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iamchaostheory

  1. I really think witchcraft is the only way to fold a fitted sheet. 5:28 PM Dec 9th from Brizzly
  2. finally put on pants and left the apartment 5:43 PM Dec 7th from Brizzly
  3. Roommate Pro-Tip: If there's still food stuck to the bottom of it, it isn't clean. 10:41 AM Dec 6th from Brizzly
  4. I'm the kind of person who has just one message in her inbox. And I've read it. 9:28 PM Dec 4th from Brizzly
  5. Everybody you meet at this party will disappoint you. And this party is your life. 7:06 PM Dec 2nd from Brizzly
  6. "I make it a point to never seriously entertain the idea of dating someone crazy enough to date me" 10:06 AM Dec 2nd from Brizzly
  7. "Today, my roommate told me she played chai pong at a Pakistani Student Association event since beer pong would be haram." 9:22 AM Dec 1st from Brizzly
  8. There really is no acceptable scenario where you can sing "conjunction juction" aloud. 9:56 AM Nov 23rd from Brizzly
  9. Girl: Did you just ask me over to sleep with me? Boy: No ... I wanted to buy you dinner, too, but you said you already ate. 12:31 PM Nov 22nd from Brizzly
  10. "He's cheating off a girl who thinks the square root of 4 is rainbows." 3:40 PM Nov 21st from Brizzly
  11. @abigvictory Never trust a jedi. 10:24 PM Nov 18th from Brizzly in reply to abigvictory
  12. I have an exam tomorrow and another 20 pages to write by the end of the week, so what I'm saying is, I should have made more coffee. 8:49 PM Nov 17th from Brizzly
  13. Nothing says "first world problem" like a birth control patch that won't stick 5:54 PM Nov 15th from Brizzly
  14. No, it's not you - it's me. I don't like you. 7:33 PM Nov 14th from Brizzly
  15. Headline: Irish priest released by MILF. (http://bit.ly/27wCiT ) Someone should tell them that acronym is taken. 8:42 AM Nov 12th from Brizzly
  16. I'm sorry, what was that? I couldn't hear you over the sound of my mental breakdown. 3:42 PM Nov 11th from Brizzly
  17. I can finally spell nietzsche 8:46 PM Nov 10th from Brizzly
  18. Huh. So this is what it feels like to stroke out on caffeine. 7:51 PM Nov 10th from Brizzly
  19. ZOMG I REALLY HAVE TO PEE WHOEVER IS IN THE BATHROOM GET OUT OR I WILL ... oh, never mind. 3:35 PM Nov 10th from Brizzly
  20. @sillysgood I don't think I ever thanked you for the #ff. Here, have a present. *shows shiny object* 11:16 AM Nov 10th from Brizzly