IAmCentaur
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I checked out Javy Vazquez on Facebook, says he likes horseback riding. Dude, is this a joke? I know I have to carry you, but seriously...
about 16 hours ago
from web
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@ Yes, it's the highest compliment you can give a man - calling him a "horse."
7:45 PM Dec 22nd
from web
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First Kate, now @. I have that effect on humans.
6:51 PM Dec 21st
from web
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@ Dude, a centaur's life isn't easy. I once tried to pretend I was Ozzie Smith doing a flip. That didn't go well.
5:12 PM Dec 20th
from web
in reply to KenDavidoff
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Really sorry to see Johnny Damon leave. You know, it takes a real man to stand up to Boras. (oops)
3:46 PM Dec 20th
from web
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Ran into one of my high school teammates in Central Park today. Messed up his hoof before the draft - now he's pulling a hansom cab. Sad.
2:26 PM Dec 19th
from web
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Decided to crash Granderson's press conference today. Took the subway, got arrested for jumping the turnstile. What else would a horse do?
2:57 PM Dec 17th
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Poor Kate, hated to let her go. She thought I was dissing Goldie and Kurt at a sit-down dinner. I had to stand, I told her. Horses can't sit
10:15 AM Dec 15th
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@ sorry I've been out of touch, bro. The news about Wang left me sort of limp.
7:09 PM Dec 14th
from Tweetie
in reply to BloggingBombers
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Notice I didn't put Mr. T Woods on that list. Horses do not dine with dogs.
8:03 PM Dec 12th
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Serby wants me for a Sunday Q and A in the NY Post. Asked for my 3 favorite dinner partners. Secretariat, Seabiscuit and Willie Shoemaker
6:24 PM Dec 12th
from web
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Heard Cashman say Granderson "really gets on his horse" in CF. Message to Curtis: dude, don't even think about it.
7:22 PM Dec 11th
from web
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Was just stopped trying to board my flight. Agent said I was carrying a weapon I said, lady, please, this is how I was born
10:29 AM Dec 10th
from Tweetie
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Do centaurs have to remove their horseshoes before going through the metal detector?
8:50 AM Dec 10th
from web
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Getting ready to go to the airport. Putting the TSA on notice: any agent who pats me down is in for a HUGE surprise.
8:26 AM Dec 10th
from web
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Now I'm ready for breakfast, but there's nowhere to find good hay in Indianapolis.
8:19 AM Dec 10th
from web
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I was on the treadmill early this morning - 4 legs are always better than 2. But running on a human treadmill is a waste. Only goes to 10mph
8:15 AM Dec 10th
from web
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Heard Cashman won't sign Matsui DH-only, thinks he's a one-trick pony.
8:13 PM Dec 9th
from web
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Hope Girardi isn't intending to give me sliding lessons in spring training. Have you ever seen a horse slide? It's not pretty.
8:01 PM Dec 9th
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Someone from the MLB Network asked me to do a stand-up tomorrow morning. I was like, dude, please. I'm a horse. I can't stand up.
5:21 PM Dec 9th
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