iDroppedTheSoap
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By having Aretha Franklin sing 2 hours into the concert, we now have to change the saying to, "It ain't HALF over until the fat lady sings."
6:41 PM Nov 29th
from Digsby
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RT @ Juan is the loneliest plumber. Chu is just as sad as Juan. He's the loneliest plumber since the plumber Juan.
7:24 PM Nov 1st
from Digsby
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So we're blowing the moon out of the sky tonight? How am I gonna know when the werewolves are out?
6:02 PM Oct 8th
from Digsby
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I like my coffee like I like my women...loaded with whiskey
4:36 PM Oct 5th
from Seesmic
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Harry Potter and the Mystery of the Enlarged Prostate
7:27 AM Jul 15th
from Seesmic
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@ Please don't live-tweet the sex, for those of us that have no chance of getting any. Or do. For the same reason.
7:14 AM Jul 1st
from Seesmic Desktop
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I don't think that these jeans help my junk look bigger. That salesman was full of it.
8:30 AM Jun 29th
from Seesmic Desktop
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You know, I complain about the heat here, but it could be worse I suppose. I could be a German Jew in 1943. Now *that* was a dry heat.
9:15 AM Jun 17th
from Seesmic Desktop
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Does this fat make me look fat?
6:26 AM Jun 9th
from Seesmic Desktop
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Having a Twitter client that automatically shrinks my tweets for me is disconcerting. Am fully prepared to sound like an ass now.
1:12 PM May 27th
from Seesmic Desktop
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Some hangovers can be cured with coffee. This, apparently, isn't one of them.
7:06 AM May 27th
from Seesmic Desktop
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Yeah, so, um, it takes *forever* to get out of handcuffs by yourself. Also: When the hooker says "100 bucks" she MEANS 100 bucks.
9:05 AM May 26th
from Seesmic Desktop
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After 13 tequila shots, I find myself much better looking.
5:24 PM May 24th
from Seesmic Desktop
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Because I am cheap and don't want to turn on the AC yet, I am forced to sit around the house in the nude. With fans. This could be dangerous
8:54 PM May 22nd
from Seesmic Desktop
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I live a life that a lot of people would envy. Most of them are inmates, but still, a lot of people.
6:23 PM May 20th
from Seesmic Desktop
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I felt popular
11:47 AM May 20th
from Seesmic Desktop
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Since when did I starting finding lolcats funny? Jesus, I *am* getting old.
8:48 AM May 19th
from Seesmic Desktop
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I admire all of you who feel confident enough to use your real picture on here. I am afraid mine would cause me to lose my five followers.
8:30 AM May 18th
from Seesmic Desktop
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I am just as excited as you are about the new Harry Potter movie. Not one itty bitty bit.
6:39 PM May 17th
from Seesmic Desktop
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I melted all of the cheese in the house before I realized there are no chips. Fail.
7:57 AM May 15th
from Seesmic Desktop
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- Name Alan Metcalf
- Location Kansas City
- Bio Utlranerd. Music lover. Can stop time. Only once though.
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